Need to be 100% nice
"It is nice to be important
but
more important to be nice"
Like here in America I come across so many strangers being so nice to me - a smile, a helping hand , a warm kind word - ALWAYS !! And it feels so good , so connected to other human beings. So most of us are really nice to strangers, to our friends, relatives etc.. We go out of our way to clean up the house, cook the best food, welcome our friends and relatives with warmth, make them feel welcome and talk pleasantly with them. Totally "being Nice"
Home as hell
I am coming across this issue of being nice and not being nice as a spoiler for sustaining most important relationships in life. But what I experience is adult human beings don't implement "Being nice concept" in their real life appropriately.
But what happens inside a home? with people with whom we live? Aging parents? Small kids? There is so much of "Not being nice" to the people we love most in our lives like hot verbal exchanges between husband , wife, children , in-laws, mother, father, grandparents, brothers, sisters etc.
Small Kids are the most vulnerable and most abused lot verbally. Parents do not consider " Being Nice " is important to kids 100 % of the time. Discipline at the cost of self-worth - does it have any meaning? Aging parents are most certainly "Not nice" recipients. Grown men and women do not consider being nice to aging parents , grandparents is important - they can be as rude as they wish and hurt them at the drop of a hat !!
But in the presence of visitors at home, grown men and women put in a great show of "Being Nice" to other members of the family. How confused a kid gets seeing such see-saw behavior of "being Nice - Being not nice" constantly by the adults around?
I come across so much of "not being nice" - it is like this adult person does not think it is necessary or important to be nice to this other person who really matters so much to him or her in life. When we can be so nice to people who really do not matter to us why is it not easy to be nice to people who really matter the most? I am puzzled. This not being nice is reciprocated in full by the other person who also considers being nice is not at all important to some one who is not so nice in the first place.
The silent sufferer
Often a person who is habitually being nice silently suffers loss of self-respect and self-worth when the other person in the relationship is "not-being-nice" most of the time . What should be an endearing conversation between two adults enforcing mutual faith, love and trust turns into a verbal battle and shatters the peace and harmony of coexistence.
Come on - Move it
I often heard this spoken in most derogatory terms by one person to the other to prove one's control over the other. It is the worst not-being-nice utterance.
Being Nice is the cement that holds relationships
So one can see how relationships which are the foundation of our very existence is only held and cemented by being nice to people who matter to us . Why would we be not nice? Why can't we be nice to some one we love so much? It is such a simple solution to living in peace and harmony.
What starts as being not nice soon turns to big fights, bitterness, quarrels, references to all past "being not nice episodes" etc etc leading to a complete breakdown of that relationship - most often divorces over most trivial reasons - all round pain - totally avoidable just by being "Genuinely nice to people who matter to us in our life" Simple - just be sincerely nice to people .
OMG - I am nicely enlightened
Just for a day let me be nice to everyone 100% of the time
