Monday, November 2, 2015

Love and Relationships


Love and Relationships


With my dear Sister-in-law who always expresses her love for me

Unconditional Love of My Mother

My son says love is a much hyped concept. We most of the normal human beings keep using the word a lot - "love u" , "with love" , "lots and lots of love" , "she is so lovable" etc etc..
So I am thinking what does the word mean to me ?

1) Love is Empowering 

when u love someone or some one loves you or if you are really lucky it is mutual , it makes the person loved a little more confident in their abilities, more trusted and more capable by merely the fact that someone loves them . When one loves oneself unconditionally as one matures then one feels empowered within and the external love is not a mandatory factor to feel empowered.

2) Love is happiness 

When somebody expresses love in words, actions or by just being , it brings a sense of joy, peace, happiness. Loving and accepting oneself and all other human beings can bring eternal peace and happiness to mankind.

3)  Love is Security

When one feels loved it brings a sense of security - "All is well" . Children need to feel secure ALL the time and it is only love and acceptance that guarantees that.

4) Universal Love

At my age (officially senior citizen) I feel the entire universe looks out for me. It is like some body is watching what is happening in my life , what I feel, what I need and working towards my well-being ALL-THE-TIME !!  I feel peace and secure within.

Relationships

We human beings created this concept and it is a very complex web that binds all human kind and sets us apart from all other living beings. It is the core of happy existence. One has to work constantly at maintaining and improving these ties that we created. It can enrich our life or ruin our peace. It is extremely individualistic how one human being manages his/her relationship with another human being but at the same time that relationship can effect several lives. It can be so simple full of love - thriving and cherishing and constructive or it can be complicated full of hatred - monstrous and destructive.

EGO is the number one enemy within for failure of human relationships. 

Mutual love and Respect 

is the binding force . I have thought about this a lot - respect for another human being comes from deep care for the feeling of that person. As human beings, this is a basic need like food, shelter and clothing - that people with whom we share some relationship care deeply for our feelings. If all our actions towards that person is based on how deeply we care for their feelings, and that person reciprocates the same care, then only the relationship can thrive and grow and be mutually satisfying. The absense of mutual love and respect is at the root cause of failures of relationships. when we do not care for feelings, then there is "Mutual hatred and disrespect" and that is the weed that destroys the beauty of any relationship. Often grown up children fail their parents by not caring for their feelings - they actually say things to hurt the feelings of the elderly. Relationships crumble and break. Mutual love means wanting that person to be a part of our life  - sharing and caring. When one human being sends out a message to the other human being "You are not important to me - I do not need or want you" then relationship swiftly makes an exit. This is the root cause of divorces between couples as each one constantly sends a message to the other "I do not need you any more in my life - I no longer care how you feel "
  
Caring for the feelings of another person, sharing and wanting a person to be a part of your life all these strengthens mutual love and respect and relationships.  

Love to all my fellow human beings