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People Pleasing Personality

2012-02-13T04:01:00.000-08:00

Parked Yachts at Soucelito , CA

People Pleasing - The disease to please - Doormat Syndrome- Tolerating Toxic relationships

How often we say "That person is so nice!! so smiling!! so loving!! " etc little knowing that the smiling face may hide a great troubled soul.

One day my son said to me "you are a people pleaser" . I sat up and took cognizant of that remark. I did a lot of reading on what he meant and the following post ( formatted ) is an extract from all that I read on the internet. I acknowledge all the great bloggers who have shared their experiences and thoughts for the benefit of others. Thank you my team mates out there in the universe. Grateful for your help.

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People-Pleasing Personality

Appearance to the world of the people-pleasing personality

* Very organized

* Easily liked

* Placators or appeasers

* Friendly, outgoing, gregarious

* Helpful, supportive

* Courteous and considerate of others

* Always smiling

* Interested in others' welfare

* Cooperative; real "team players''

* Generous with own time and energy

* Ready to volunteer

* Accept delegation easily

* "Company men''; very loyal

* Ready to take on any new challenge that comes along

* Work hard at pleasing others

* Talented, skillful, and creative

* A pleasure to spend time with

* Happy, joyful, full of fun

* Encouraging and reassuring

* Go along with requests made by others

* People mixers

* Assets in any conversation

* "Together,'' warm, and caring persons

* People sought out for friendship; popular socially

Feelings inside persons with the people-pleasing personality traits

* Fear of loss of approval

* Fear of rejection

* Fear of loss of personal identity

* Fear of loss of personal worth

* Denial of problems

* Self-denial or ignoring of personal rights

* Feeling lonely and isolated from others

* Avoid conflicts or fights at any cost

* Feeling not "good'' enough

* Feeling undeserving

* Feeling inferior to others

* Concern about satisfying others' demands

* Insecurity about personal abilities, skills, or knowledge

* Compulsive need to please others

* Unhappy over not pleasing others

* Embarrassed by personal looks or behavior that displeases others

* Confusion about why it takes so much energy to please others

* Fear of not "doing best'' for others' sake

* Fear of letting their friends and family down
* Fear of failure

* Fear of it being "found out'' they are not as good as they appear to others

* Fear that others will recognize their failings

* Desire to run away to avoid the stress of "always'' needing to be "good''

* Exhaustion from always trying to be "perfect''

* Disappointment in not being able to make everyone happy

* Critical of how well they are doing in their personal lives

* Feel unappreciated or taken advantage of

* Feel taken for granted

* Feel like they are being treated like victims

* Feel like the martyr for others

* Fear of making a decision lest it be the wrong one

* Come unglued easily under pressure; unorganized

Negative consequences of people-pleasing behaviors

* Low self-esteem

* Loss of personal identity

* Loss of personal rights

* Being taken advantage of

* Loss of personal time

* Ineffectiveness in managing work

* Inability to direct or supervise others

* Inability to achieve personal goals

* Inability to take a leadership role

* Poor problem solving abilities

* Burnout on the job or at home

* Chronic state of being unappreciated

* Immobilized by irrational beliefs

* Guilt over not accomplishing enough or not being pleasing enough for others

* Inability to maintain healthy interpersonal relationships

* Loss of appreciation for self attributes

* Inability to accept kindnesses from others

* Chronic state of self-deprecation

* Chronic state of being hard on self

* Lack of trust in others' sincerity

* Chronic state of insecurity in interacting with others

* Inability to make a decision

* Do not know how to relax

Irrational beliefs of people with the people-pleasing personality traits

* I must be liked by everyone.

* I must do nothing to upset others.

* I must work harder to make things better for others.

* They would never like me if they knew the truth about me.

* I must be careful in my decision making so as not to upset anyone.

* I can never do enough to please them.

* I am responsible for other peoples' happiness.

* How they respond to me is important.

* The harder I work for them, the more they will appreciate me.

* If they don't like me, I'm no good!

* Always put others first! Put yourself last.

* There is no task I won't do for you, large or small.

* People can only like you if you appear nice, pleasant, friendly, and cheerful to them.

* Your only role in life is giving to or helping others.

* If you are not successful, you are a loser and losers are ignored, unloved, and unwanted.

* It's not who you are but what you do that counts.

* You must always be understanding and have an open mind with people who are hurting you or putting you down.

* If someone doesn't accept me, it must be that I'm not "good enough'' to be accepted.

* No matter what I do, it never seems to be "good enough.''

* I can do nothing right. I am worthless, useless, but I can't let others see this about me or they will reject me.

Turning negative people-pleasing traits into positive potential

Negative People-Pleaser Behavior : Positive Potential

Self-sacrificing : This behavior can be converted to rational altruism, in which they are able to be self protective and self rewarding in their "giving'' behavior toward others.

Self-deprecating : This behavior can be converted into realistic self appraisal by their being led to recognize and accept personal strengths, abilities, and attributes. They can be taught that "false humility'' is unhealthy and that it is OK to "toot'' one's horn when appropriate.

Poor decision making ability : This poor decision making can be converted to productive problem solving and effective decision making by allowing themselves the right to hold to their own opinions and to be creative without the fear of what others would say and without fear of retribution. Freeing up their mental energy will result in increased productivity, creativity, and healthy decision making.

Loss of personal identity : By being able to accept themselves for who they are without fear of recriminations or disapproval, they can become firm in their beliefs as to who they are and what they are capable of doing and becoming.

Martyrdom : Rather than placing themselves in situations in which their rights are ignored and where they are taken advantage of, they can learn to be assertive and begin to protect their rights, ceasing to be victimized by others.

Need for approval : By increasing their habits of self-affirmations and positive self-approval, they can alter both their need for approval and their fear of rejection by being their own best friend, cheerleader, reinforcer, and approver. They have to accept and approve of themselves before others will.

Dependent on others for positive reinforcement: Because they have low self-esteem they reinforcement become so dependent on others for attention, affection, and approval that they become "addicted'' to positive affirmation from others. This can be converted by becoming self caring, self affirming, self accepting, and by becoming emotionally independent from others.

Fear of failure : By recognizing that one's worth is not solely dependent on "doing well,'' "achieving things'' or by doing things to please others, they can let go of the fear of letting people down by failing to achieve self-imposed goals or goals others have set for them. Learning to turn failures into growth enhancing experiences is another way they can let go of this fear.

Unswerving loyalty : Those who find security in being loyal to institutions rather than to themselves can reverse this behavior by recognizing the value of self directed attention and concern for personal health and well being. Being loyal to self results in a holistic sense of wellness of body, mind, and spirit.

Hard on self : This results in self punishing and self restrictive behavior. By letting go of the need to be "good enough'' for everyone else and by letting go of perfectionism in personal efforts, they can lighten up on themselves and learn to enjoy life, to relax, have fun and play, nurturing the inner child in themselves.

Read more: http://www.livestrong.com/article/14669-people-pleasing-personality/#ixzz1laUn2uB2

Is People Pleasing Diluting Who You Are And What You’re Capable Of?

Written by Eric Hamm on September 26, 2010

“Hello, my name is Eric and I’m a people pleaser.”

Is People Pleasing Keeping You From Pleasing The Right People?

In this post I lay out some of the key signs of being a people pleaser and then offer some tips to help overcome this terrible and self destructive personality trait.

What I found interesting, though, was just how many people could clearly associate with being a people pleaser. If you read through some of the comments you’ll see that many had no problem laying out their life story knowing that they were among fellow pleasing addicts. And those who really got the message had a tone of relief as if a heavy burden had been lifted from their shoulders.

Since writing that post I’ve spoken with many readers about the topic and I’ve come to realize that this is not only a common issue for many, but that the end result is a certain faded version of the individual. Just like pouring water into a glass of fine wine, those who are actively living out their people pleasing personality are quickly diluting their very existence.
In the above mentioned blog post I painted my thoughts on the subject using a broad brush. With this post, however, I would like to refine my focus. So let’s talk about making decisions…

Never Fear Making A Bad Decision, Only Fear Others Making Decisions For You

As a people pleaser it’s easy to give decision making control over to others.

Not only are we often suffering from some form of low self-esteem, but our desire to do what we think others want us to do is often stronger then that of taking control of our lives.

The problem with this unhealthy habit is that we are diluting our decision making data.
When we truly make our own decisions we are able to gather useful information based on the outcome.

Regardless of whether the decision was right or wrong the information provided by the result will prove equally useful for better decision making in the future.

If a child decides to touch a hot stove and gets burned they will have learned just as much as if they touched cold water to sooth their skin.
This is the natural way that our brains use our senses (including our 6th sense…those gut feelings we have) to learn how to improve our way of life. From learning what not to touch so we don’t get burned to better understanding our sense of others. The problem with people pleasing is that it disrupts this process and dilutes the information our brains are trying to absorb.

The reason people pleasing is so destructive to this data is because the results observed when letting others decide your direction is tainted.

Even if you encounter a positive outcome from a people pleasing based decision you will find no use for that data because it tells you nothing about how your own decision would have turned out.

In other words, it’s better to make a bad decision then to let someone else make a good decision for you.

In the short run you may be better off with the latter, but down the road your ability to make your own good choices will atrophy as a result.

Resentment Is Often The Result Of Allowing Others To Direct Your Decisions

When we make a bad decision it can sting for a bit but in the end we live and learn.

But when we make a bad decision and we know that this decision was not the one we wanted to make from the start, we can be devastated.

The saying goes, “You’ve made your bed and now you have to lay in it.” Yet as people pleasers we are constantly laying in a bed made by those around us.

Considering the mess of decisions based on who knows how many personalities and agendas, we find ourselves frustrated that our own less than ideal situation is the result of other peoples mistakes. Resentment, no doubt, ensues.

The problem is that we have no one to blame but ourselves. Because the one choice that we people pleasers always seem to make on our own is to hand over the keys to our own lives.

You Are No Longer You

As time goes on the active people pleaser will become less and less like the unique individual they had come into this world to be.

Just like that water polluted glass of wine, the people pleaser has been so diluted by the people around them that they lose their distinct taste.

So afraid of being disliked or disagreeable they end up being left with little personality.

And let me tell you, it’s better to be loved by some and hated by others then to only be liked by all.

Some may love wine and hate beer or love beer and hate wine, but no one likes a watered down version of either.

The First Steps

There’s nothing more freeing then finally making your own decisions, but the first step is giving yourself permission.

As a people pleaser I know firsthand how hard it is to let myself grab the wheel and push everyone else into the back seat.

We feel guilty for even considering such a thing, but how crazy is that?!

This is our life and we are the ones who have to walk in our shoes or lay in the bed we’ve made.

So the idea that we should have any form of guilt for taking charge of our lives and finally directing our future is insane!

So stop listening to that little people pleasing voice and start making your own decisions, finally gathering that ever important data.

You’ve Got To Walk Before You Can Run

If you’re like me you’ve been trying to please the world around you for decades.

As a result we find our 6th sense to be immature at best.

Once we decide to break free from our people pleasing ways we may find the road ahead to be a bit bumpy at first.

Going too far in one direction and then not far enough, we have to be patient as we feel out our new dedication to making our own decisions and in time we’ll greatly improve the accuracy of our intuition.

Never Let Fear Dictate Your Decisions

If you’re a people pleaser then you will no doubt relate to this scenario.

You’re faced with a tough decision, one which will directly effect others.

Your first thought is a clear take on what direction you should go.

Yet moments later your judgment is clouded by the fear of what if.

What if so and so did such and such when I decide to do this or that?

We try and play out the scenario in our minds to find the path of least resistance.

But the bottom line is that the only path should be the one you feel is best.

And the moment you stop letting your fear of the unknown outcome dictate your decisions is the moment you will be free to live your life like a glass of fine wine, providing a distinct flavor to the world around you.

So stop trying to please and start learning to live your best life possible!

Evolution of the Self

On the paradoxes of personality.
by Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D.
From Parent-Pleasing to People-Pleasing: The Journey Away from Self . . . and the Way Back (Part 3 of 3)
How to get beyond the toxic addiction to approval.
Published on July 27, 2008 by Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D. in Evolution of the Self

How to Get Beyond the People-Pleasing Syndrome

It's certainly understandable that when people-pleasers grow up, they do so with a fully crystallized program that to be good enough they must comply with the wishes and demands of others.

As with so many other personality dysfunctions, they're unable to validate themselves from within so must depend on others to confirm their value from without.

Not having developed any sense that they're inherently worth caring for--i.e., lovable for themselves--they strive to make themselves lovable by becoming for others whatever they think might be wanted from them.

For most people-pleasers, by the time they reach young adulthood the habit of disavowing their needs and deferring to the wishes of their parents has become so well conditioned that this now outdated behavioral program automatically gets repeated (with dozens of variations) once they're on their own.

At the extreme, as "pushovers" or "human doormats," they allow others (at times, may even encourage others) to walk all over them.

For, sadly, being "used" in such fashion actually helps alleviate social anxieties and makes them feel more secure.

The Disease to Please.
Stopping the People-Pleasing Habit

Harriet B. Braiker, Ph.D., in describing the personal costs of people-pleasing, refers to the exorbitant "price of nice" in her book with the equally catchy title, The Disease to Please. And at this point, a variety of writers have sought to characterize the enormous psychological toll that these exaggerated approval-seeking behaviors take on the lives of people-pleasers. In fact, the reason it's critical that such people determine to re-write this now inappropriate childhood script is simply that they can no longer afford it. Not, that is, if they're ever to get in touch with--and express--their true self; or achieve any sense of well-being or peace of mind.

To briefly delineate some of the most frequently mentioned costs of people-pleasers' "excess niceness," let me offer the following:

Loss of integrity, identity, self-respect and self-esteem;

constant self-criticism and self-belittlement;

nagging sense of guilt and shame about not really being "good enough" for others;

chronic insecurities in personal interactions (for they're feeling okay is so conditional and dependent on others' approval);

inability to sustain healthy relationships with healthy boundaries;

inability to trust, accept or perceive as heartfelt others' kindness or positive feedback;

difficulty or inability to manage, lead or supervise others (for fear of offending--or displeasing--them);

inability to effectively control their time, whether at work or at home (mainly because of problems saying no to others' requests);

inability to stay with or accomplish personal goals (because they're not a high-enough priority for themselves);
inability to make decisions;

and--ultimately--burnout, whether at work, home, or both (partly because people-pleasers don't know how to relax--or don't feel they can let themselves relax--and partly because they're forever driven to prove their worth to others, such that not constantly doing something triggers in them anxiety or guilt).

So how do people-pleasers disencumber themselves of such a self-effacing, life-denying pattern?--or at least ameliorate it?

The short answer is only gradually, and with much effort.

After all, these people-pleasing patterns have become deeply ingrained and associated with the only kind of parental acceptance they may ever have known.

Early programs of adaptation, perceived as intimately tied to family survival, are always knotty and difficult to uproot.

And so they present a formidable challenge.

In fact, typically people-pleasers are ready to devote themselves to altering their self-obliterating ways only when their lives have started to feel unmanageable and out of control.

Having become nothing less than addicted to pleasing others--and people-pleasing really is a kind of relationship addiction--for them to "abstain" from such habitual approval-striving requires a great deal of patience, restraint, fortitude and discipline.

Feeling more and more enslaved by the needs of those they've so obsessively catered to, their readiness to change is generally signaled by their growing resentment.

It is a resentment that over time has accumulated so much mass that inevitably it's begun to leak out in the form of passive-aggressive behavior.

Still afraid to show anger directly--for unconsciously they're still under the influence of their parents' negative reaction whenever they showed this defiant emotion as children--they can no longer contain the acutely felt indignity of their situation.

(And it should be added that many people-pleasers become so frustrated about having to stifle themselves that with enough provocation they can verbally explode at the person they've been taking such inordinately good care of.)

Ultimately, the solution for people-pleasers, as with so many other dysfunctional personality patterns, is to learn how to become more self-validating.

Only through learning how to feel okay solely from within is it possible to undo the essential motivation for pleasing others--which, of course, is based on the need to earn their validation.

To this point, people-pleasers have been unable to internalize (or make "real" for themselves) this external validation anyway.

Like any other addiction (whether to a substance, activity, or relationship) implicitly the keyword for them has been more.

For without the ability to truly "get" that they're good enough--despite any number of compliments or kudos from without--they've spent their whole lives trying to get more and more of what finally could never lead to the self-approval and -acceptance they've yearned for all along.

And here is precisely where it becomes obvious how people-pleasing is virtually synonymous with low self-esteem.

For people who truly value themselves simply don't need to focus on pleasing others in order to feel (conditionally) good enough.

With sufficient self-valuing, they're free to independently pursue their own dreams, not feel bound to fulfill someone else's.

Most of the literature I've reviewed in preparing this piece centers on straightforward techniques to help people-pleasers break their self-defeating practice of subordinating their needs to others. In summarizing some of these writers' suggestions (which overlap considerably)--as well describing what, professionally, I myself have found effective--I should add the caveat that the key to people-pleasers' metamorphosis is not in doing anything differently as such, but in learning over time how to come from a place of genuine self-deserving. And such an attitudinal transformation can be extremely challenging because it contrasts sharply with the way they were originally "trained" to feel by parents who--though they may have done the best they were capable of--were still overly needy, withdrawn, self-absorbed, demanding, hostile, or intimidating/authoritarian.

Again, it can hardly be overemphasized that the reason overcoming this so-called "disease to please" can be so problematic is that people-pleasers experienced their placating behavior as the best--or only--way to gain their caretakers' love and caring. As with almost everything else relating to the human psyche, when a behavioral pattern that is clearly maladaptive as an adult was once adaptive as a child, there will be a strong, deep-seated resistance to changing it.

And this opposition will hold regardless of how much, consciously, the individual truly desires to change it.

For the anxious child within can only view such efforts as gravely threatening the need for personal security (which is so intimately linked to avoiding parental disapproval).

Consequently, it's important for people making the commitment to alter their self-effacing, other-directed behaviors to anticipate feelings of hesitancy, nervousness, guilt and ambivalence.

To whatever degree, such feelings are likely to show up almost every time they act in a self-interested (vs. self-sacrificing) manner.

The best formula for success, then, is to acknowledge these feelings as they come up and speak to the apprehensive child within--who "owns," or "has custody of," such doubts.

Gently and reassuringly (but firmly as well), the child self needs to be repeatedly reminded that they have a perfect right both to assert their needs and to say no whenever a request or demand feels unfair or excessive to them.

Over and over they need to get the new and revised message that their own wants and desires are legitimate and important, and that it's safe to hold onto them even when they differ from another's.

Some of the many methods useful for transforming the people-pleasing personality syndrome include the following:

Acknowledge and understand the various ways you subordinate your will to others.

Try to pinpoint how, when, and with what people you give up your personal power in efforts to secure the relationship.

Become more aware not only of when you revert to people-pleasing behaviors, but exactly what your motives are in such instances.

Notice, particularly, the sensations you feel in your body when you're defaulting to your anxiety-alleviating "defense" of compliance.

Become more sensitive to the cues and triggers that routinely prompt you to take a pacifying, conciliatory position with others.

As trite as it sounds, make an abiding commitment to be true to yourself-that is, not to say or do anything solely because it would increase the likelihood of another's approval.

Rather, start making your own needs clearer to people who matter to you.

And begin right now to practice this in your head till such assertiveness begins to feel more real and comfortable to you. (If possible, also consider role-playing this "new and improved" version of yourself with your spouse, a trusted friend-or with a therapist, whose feedback might be particularly illuminating.)

Relating to the above, consider buying a book on assertiveness (there are many excellent ones available); or reading whatever literature on the subject you can find on the Web.

If your people-pleasing is widespread and not focused, say, just on angry people, or people of one sex, or people in authority (who, unconsciously, remind you of your parents), you probably need to learn much more about what effective assertive behavior looks like in practice. The more examples of good, assertive behavior you can find the better.

Put into practice what you've decided to change.

Encourage yourself to go farther and farther outside your emotional comfort zone.

Start expressing your thoughts and feelings, wants and needs--independent of whether you see the other person(s) as likely to agree with you.

Remember, finally it doesn't make much sense to keep in your life people who lack a sincere interest in your welfare.

Additionally, as an adult, realize that you also have the right to minimize, or avoid altogether, family members who are unable or unwilling to treat you with the consideration and respect you're entitled to.

Beware of your tendency to automatically agree with, or defer to, others.

Rather than respond immediately to a statement or request, recognize that any reflexive reaction is likely to be steeped in old compliance programming.

Instead, pause before you respond and think less about what the other person may want from you than on what you want--what in the present situation best suits your needs (or at least doesn't ignore them).

And here I'm certainly not advocating that you become selfish, that you make your preferences your one and only priority.

Rather, I'm suggesting you remind yourself that your needs are as important as anyone else's, and that you should avoid going along with someone else's agenda simply because it's always been your "line of least resistance."

Do things for others because you really care about them--not simply because you're afraid they'd abandon you if you didn't. (And, again, remember that anyone who would forsake you if you failed to submit to their preferences really isn't someone you want in your life anyhow.)

Do everything possible to heal your psychological wounds from childhood.

Because your people-pleasing patterns probably came into existence to help you reduce strong feelings of vulnerability with your parents, to the degree that you can access those earlier hurt and scared parts of yourself, you can let them know that that part of your life exists now only as memory--that you're now grown up and have your own authority, and that your inner security no longer hinges on placating and "making nice" to others.

If you can't seem to reach these early, recessive parts of yourself and resolve what, essentially, are their issues, I'd highly recommend you consider counseling with a therapist who specializes in inner child work (possibly using a modality such as EMDR, Lifespan Integration, or Internal Family Systems Therapy).

Develop greater autonomy. This suggestion is taken from Jay Earley, Ph.D., who specifically discusses how people-pleasers can transform compliance into autonomy.

Here, verbatim, are some of his pointers:

Set limits when you need to

Stand your ground when others disagree or push their perspective [on you].

Recognize that other people may not always like what you say or do, and take the risk to do it anyway.

As you practice being autonomous, your People Pleaser part may fear that you are being unpleasant or unnecessarily aggressive because it isn't used to this.

Reassure it that you are just taking care of yourself, and that's OK

Become an expert on the subject of people-pleasing.

Amazon lists no fewer than four books on people-pleasing published since 2002.

If you're a people-pleaser better able to keep ideas for change fresh by reading regularly on the subject--if reading helps remind you of the bad habits you wish to discard and the new skills you're committed to acquire--then it might make sense to purchase one or more of these books (after reviewing them on Amazon.com).

But beware! Reading about something is hardly the same as actually doing it.

So don't fall into the trap of substituting the intellectual experience of learning more and more about this toxic phenomenon for actively challenging yourself--day-by-day--to alter the personal thoughts and interpersonal behaviors that, till now, have undermined your self-esteem, self-confidence and self-development.

Throughout this process of recovery--and personal re-discovery--remember that the essence of all of us is worthwhile.

We all deserve love.

When we can at last please ourselves--become the loving, supportive, nurturing parent to the wounded child parts deep within us--we'll be well on our way to reclaiming our most authentic self.

And this is the same self we felt obliged to abandon when pleasing our parents seemed tantamount to our very survival.

http://www.tellinitlikeitis.net/2010/01/people-pleasers-and-doormats-care-what-people-think-about-them.html

People Pleasers and Doormats Care What People Think About Them

Posted by Lin on January 3, 2010 · 5 Comments

Are you a people pleaser?

Do you care what people think about you?

Should you care what other people think about you or not?

Do you have the “disease to please” people in your life to the point where you feel like you have become someone’s personal doormat to wipe their dirty feet on?

Do you have difficulty saying no to requests and then feel angry or resentful because you said yes, again?

Who is pulling your strings?

By definition, people pleasers are people who have a disproportionate and unhealthy need in their personality to give in to the wants, whims and desires of others around them, to the point of sacrificing their own wants or needs.

People pleasers, pushovers and doormats lack assertiveness skills and hold back from speaking up and saying what they really think or feel, and they hold back from asking for what they need or want because they’re worried someone will get upset about it.

Having a people pleasing personality is great…..until. Being considerate, thoughtful, gracious and willing to help others are admirable traits and characteristics, but suffering from doormat syndrome or being a people pleaser to your own detriment are not so admirable.

People pleasers put other people’s needs before their own, rarely doing things for themselves and then feel guilty about it.

People pleasers spend time with difficult people who don’t care about or consider other people’s wants or needs above their own- not even a little bit.

People pleasers will jump through hoops, so to speak, to make unhappy, insensitive, selfish, ungrateful, controlling, mentally and emotionally abusive people feel better about themselves, to their own detriment.

If you are tolerating problematic family relationships out of a sense of duty, obligation or a sense of Christian responsibility, your personal concept and belief system of what family is or isn’t needs to be reexamined and analyzed closely.

People Pleasers and Doormat Syndrome

Are you dealing with extremely difficult people in your life?

What does the term “toxic people” mean to you?

Do you find yourself in personal or professional relationships where you feel used, abused, battered and beaten down mentally, emotionally, or perhaps even financially?

Do you habitually give in to people because the mere thought of displeasing or upsetting them is too much for you to deal with?

Do you spend too much of your time, energies or money trying to keep other people happy because of fear of what they will think of you if you stopped?

Why do you care what others think about you?

If you routinely put your own needs aside because of wanting to make other people happy, perhaps discovering that he or she is not the least bit grateful or genuinely appreciative for the things you do, you are a classic people pleaser.

Here’s some advice: Stop being a martyr, victim, people pleaser or doormat stressing out and worrying about what other people may or may not think of you.

Stop caring what people think about you and start living your life free of the stress, worry and anxiety about what others think or want from you.

The cost of caring what your boss, coworkers, subordinates, friends, family members, spouse, grown adult children, parents, inlaws, siblings or other difficult relatives think about you needs to stop.

Allowing the opinions of others in your life to control, manipulate and trample on your self-worth is too high a price to pay to feel accepted, liked, loved or validated.

Who is the puppet master in your life?
Can you afford the high cost of people pleasing?

If you suffer from people pleaser “excess niceness” syndrome, consider the following list of costs typically associated with being a people pleaser or doormat.

Loss of identity, self-respect, self-esteem and personal integrity.

Burnout.

Nagging doubt about being “good enough” for others.

A debilitating sense of guilt, shame, insecurity and inability creating and maintaining healthy boundaries in relationships.

Difficulty or problems managing, leading or supervising others at home and/or work;

inability or difficulty trusting others, accepting kindness, positive feedback or heartfelt compliments from others.

Difficulty making decisions, sticking with and accomplishing personal goals, because people pleasers inherently make others a priority over themselves.

People pleasing personality types find it virtually impossible to deny any or all requests made upon them even when doing so creates stress, chaos, financial burden, anxiety attacks, depression and even bankruptcy.

The need for the approval and acceptance of others becomes debilitating for people pleasers, where fear of saying no and the intense aversion to confrontations or angry reprisals causes people pleasers to give in time after time after time.

Stop caring what people think about you. Relying on the opinions of others for approval, acceptance and validation is a self-sabotaging behavior and is detrimental to your health, happiness and wellbeing. Harriet B. Braikder, Ph.D writes in her book The Disease To Please, “As a people-pleaser, you feel controlled by your need to please others and addicted to their approval. At the same time, you feel out of control over the pressures and demands on your life that these needs have created”. Does that sound rational to you?

Not caring how other people think or feel towards you doesn’t mean that you should become selfish or egotistical, or that you should make your personal wants, preferences and needs the only priority in your life.

Not at all.

I’m suggesting that your needs are just as important as anyone else’s; that you should avoid seeking acceptance or approval from people who have their own selfish agenda.

Do things for others because you really care about them and want to, rather than out of fear that they won’t like you or will abandon you if you don’t do what they want.

Stop allowing other people’s opinions, needs or wants to control or dictate who or what you are as a person.

If someone doesn’t like you or stops liking you because you don’t do what they want, then you’re being used by them and they are not someone you need in your life anyway.

Take your power back.

Learn to let go of the disease to please other people and remind yourself that you ARE good enough!

Treatment

1) Express your beliefs firmly

2) Praise your actions often.

3) Think before obliging (socially, emotionally, physically, financially) any one.

4) Sound firm and with conviction ALWAYS

4) Set a goal in life, work towards achieving that - WHO YOU WANT TO BE KNOWN AS WHEN YOU ARE ALIVE AND AFTER YOU ARE DEAD???

5) Let your dreams be known to people close to you, who love you.

6) Take hold of your time, money, energy, values, health, property, beliefs.

============================================================

Love Yourself

2012-02-13T03:39:00.000-08:00

The following article is an extract from a book written by Louise Hey who is one of the guiding lights of my life. Thank you Louise for inspiring me. I have applied a bit of formatting.

=======================================================================

Love yourself

I have found that there is only one thing that heals every problem, and that is: to love yourself. When people start to love themselves more each day, it's amazing how their lives get better. They feel better. They get the jobs they want. They have the money they need. Their relationships either improve, or the negative ones dissolve and new ones begin.

Loving yourself is a wonderful adventure; it's like learning to fly. Imagine if we all had the power to fly at will? How exciting it would be! Let's begin to love ourselves now.

Here are 12 Commandments to help you learn how to love yourself:

Stop All Criticism.
Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.

Forgive Yourself.Let the past go. You did the best you could at the time with the understanding, awareness, and knowledge that you had. Now you are growing and changing, and you will live life differently.

Don't Scare Yourself.Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It's a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure, and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.

Be Gentle and Kind and Patient.Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you really loved.

Be Kind to Your Mind.
Self-hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don't hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change your thoughts.

Praise Yourself.Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.

Support Yourself.Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.

Be Loving to Your Negatives.Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So lovingly release the old negative patterns.

Take Care of Your Body.Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need in order to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise do you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in.

Do Mirror Work.Look into your eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself while looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents while looking into the mirror. Forgive them, too. At least once a day, say, "I love you, I really love you!"

Love Yourself... Do It Now.
Don't wait until you get well, or lose the weight, or get the new job, or find the new relationship. Begin now—and do the best you can.

Have Fun.
Remember the things that gave you joy as a child. Incorporate them into your life now. Find a way to have fun with everything you do. Let yourself express the joy of living. Smile. Laugh. Rejoice, and the Universe rejoices with you!

It is now time for you to release old beliefs and old habits, and the meditations and treatments within these pages can help you build your confidence as you make necessary changes in your life.

This is a time of awakening. Know that you are always safe. And also know that it's possible to move from the old to the new, easily and peacefully.

What shall I now release from my life?

What or who no longer works for me?

What am I holding on to that holds me back?

What thoughts or beliefs belong to the old me?

How am I being unloving to myself?

What do I believe that really works for me?

Am I ready to let go?

What is going on in my life that is terrific and wonderful?

Where am I being very loving to myself?

Where am I most content?

What do I want to bring to my life?

How do I want the next year to be?

Who do I want to bring into my world?

How do I want to look?

What image do I want to project?

How healthy do I want to be?

How prosperous do I want to feel?

What kind of world do I want to live in?

Where do I want my spirituality to go?

How much love am I willing to experience?

Take time to acknowledge all of your positive growth and change in the last year.

Then affirm:

I am not limited by statistics, medical opinions, time or authorities.

I am one with the infinite wisdom and capabilities of the Universe itself.

All good is available to me, right here and right now.

All I have to do is to use the power of my thoughts to create that which I desire.

And so it is! I wish you a fabulous 2012!

======================================

Thank you dear Louise.

You are the Journey

2012-01-10T19:31:00.000-08:00

Vedika brings on a smile ever time one sees her

5th Jan. 2012 - My diary

I'd often say - "A chapter in my life's journey or when ever I had some experiences like attending a marriage or travelling I would say "I just got down in one station, had some fun and got back in my train - the journey of life"

Suddenly it dawned on me that I am the journey - it is kind of dynamic -whatever is happening to you moves that travel - You are the Movement!!

Anyway, philosophy apart, life is good, peaceful, satisfying. Decisions of the past, time and again seem to have been good, for the better. In retrospect, it seems now wise that I decided otherwise. Many times, in the past, I have blamed myself, repented, regretted, felt awfully guilty etc.. But as I move along the times, it seems "All for the best"

"Death"
- on death, I read recently a young boy's personal experience - when he was clinically declared dead, the doctors were trying to give shock and revive his heart, he says his brain did not die. The experience he had was so beautiful - he felt infinite peace, and saw a bright white light of infinite dimension. The link is here

I also read Steve Job's sister's account of his last dying moment. The three words he uttered were "Wow. Wow. Wow" . May be he too saw the light. May be he too experienced the peace.

Another death experience was my dad's. He went into coma for 2 days. He was in the hospital. At 10:30 p.m., just before he was declared dead, he opened his eyes, he opened his eyes wide, saw and recognized and smiled at Sai , my brother-in-law, then closed his eyes and died. His face was so peaceful.

Almost all the dead people I saw, had that look of peace .

So I now concluded - Death is fun, it is infinite peace, it is an eternal sleep. Every night we enjoy our sleep so much - whenever we get up from bed, we do not want to leave the warmth of our cozy bed. Also most of the time, my dreams are not all that great !! So Death is such a dreamless, infinite, peaceful sleep. "WOW!! -Isn't that something to look forward to" I also realized that I do not want to suffer illness, pain, disease. I want to live in excellent health and pass away in deep sleep to eternal sleep.

I feel so deeply grateful to this birth, this highly perceptive analytic brain and this general sense of peace and well-being. Right now, I have never felt better physically.

Is this enlightenment?? At last??

With this new perspective and understanding of death, I realize, if a person is dead, as soon as they are dead, we rush here and there, calling doctors, relatives, wail etc. The best thing to do is to put on soft music, sit in peace, hold hands and say softly how much we all loved that person or how much he or she meant to us in our life etc.. remembering that "That person may be still able to perceive something"

In deep gratitude

Itchy Dry Skin

2012-01-09T16:07:00.000-08:00

Winter Skin Care

End Winter in Champaign, IL, USA

Snow Covered Landscape

I, like my two sons have inherited extreme dry skin from my dear departed father. They always joke "That is the only inheritance we got" . Come winter and the intense itch, scaly skin bothers us.

I found this article very useful in understanding my skin issues. The following article is an extract from University of Iowa Department of Dermatology
http://www.uihealthcare.com/topics/skinhealth/winterskin.html

Winter Dry Skin

Dry skin is a very common skin problem and is often worse during the winter when environmental humidity is low (i.e., "winter itch"). It can occur at all ages and in people with or without other skin problems. This newsletter discusses the causes of dry skin and how to treat and prevent this problem. We hope you find it useful.

What does dry skin look like?

Everyone is familiar to some degree with the appearance of dry skin. The normally fine lines in the skin become more visible, the skin feels rough and appears dull and flaky. In more advanced cases, fish net-like cracks resembling the fine fracture lines of cracked porcelain can occur. Dry skin occurs most commonly on the arms and legs, but can also affect the trunk of the body. Dermatologists often call dry skin "xerosis" or "asteatosis".

Problems associated with dry skin.

Dry skin very commonly produces itching, which can be severe and interfere with sleep and other daily activities. Repeated rubbing and scratching can produce areas of thickened, rough skin (lichenification). Dry, thickened skin can crack, especially in areas subject to chronic trauma (e.g., hands and feet), causing painful cracks in the skin (fissures). Dry skin and scratching may result in a dermatitis when the skin becomes red (inflamed) in addition to dry and scaly. Round, scaly, itchy, red patches scattered over the legs, arms and trunk (nummular eczema) may also appear. The appearance of yellow crusts or pus in these areas indicates that a bacterial infection is developing. This would require specific antibiotic therapy from your dermatologist or family physician.

If your skin is very dry, or if you have an associated red dermatitis, it is a good idea to seek the advice of your dermatologist or family physician. Severe dry skin is a feature of certain genetic diseases such as atopic dermatitis and ichthyosis (fish scale-like skin). In addition, people with hormone imbalances such as underactivity of the thyroid gland can also experience severe skin dryness (there are other changes in the body that accompany dry skin in this setting that helps doctors recognize this problem). On occasion red, dry skin rashes can be confused with other skin problems such as a ringworm infection or allergic contact dermatitis (i.e., a poison ivy-like skin rash), which would need different forms of treatment.

What causes dry skin?

Healthy skin can be pictured as a multi-layer cake covered by a single sheet of clear plastic food wrap to keep it fresh. The plastic food wrap prevents the frosting and underlying layers of the cake from drying out by preventing loss (evaporation) of the water from the cake into the air. It is the moisture in the cake that gives it its freshness. The outermost layer of the skin, which acts like the plastic food wrap and is about the same thickness, is called the stratum corneum. (This is the layer that peels off after a sunburn). The stratum corneum consists of dead skin cells embedded in a mixture of natural oils (lipids) that are made by underlying living skin cells. These natural skin oils keep the water inside our body from escaping into the air and also keep irritating substances and germs from entering the body. Both the skin oils and the dead skin cells hold a certain amount of water in the stratum corneum and it is this stratum corneum water that helps keep the skin soft, pliable and smooth.

Dry skin results when there is not enough water in the stratum corneum for it to function properly. One way this can happen is when protective oils in the stratum corneum are lost and the water that is normally present in the skin is allowed to escape. Too much soapy water, exposure to harsh chemicals, the normal aging process and certain types of skin diseases are some of the causes of decreased amounts of protective skin oils. As the stratum corneum dries out it shrinks and, as it shrinks, small cracks can occur. This exposes the underlying living cells to irritating substances and germs in the environment.

Treatment of dry skin.

An important aspect of treatment is to identify and tackle any factors that may be contributing to the dry skin. It is natural to think that applying water alone to dry skin would help control the problem. However, water alone (especially hot water) can actually worsen the problem of dry skin by removing the normal, protective skin oils. Hot, soapy water depletes the natural skin oils to the greatest degree. Anyone who has tried to wash a skillet covered with bacon grease in cold soapy water knows how effective heat is in softening up oils and fats so that they can be washed away. However, water followed by the application of oil such as a moisturizer (also known as an emollient or lubricant) is of great benefit for dry skin. The oil in the moisturizer helps trap and seal water in the stratum corneum and makes the skin softer, smoother and less likely to become dry, cracked and itchy.

A mainstay of management is attention to proper bathing techniques and liberal use of the most effective moisturizers. You should take a short bath or shower (no more than 10 minutes) only once in a 24 hour period. For adults, showers are generally better than baths. While longer baths or showers, especially in hot water, can be quite relaxing, they will also increase the loss of natural oils from the skin and worsen skin dryness. The bath or shower should be in warm rather than hot water. Soap should be used minimally and only when and where needed (for example, under the arms, the groin and genitals, the feet, and the face). Milder, less drying soaps include Dove, Neutrogena Dry Skin Formula (unscented), Aveeno Cleansing Bar for Dry Skin, Purpose, Basis, and Oil of Olay Sensitive Skin Soap. Cetaphil is a liquid cleanser that works as a gentle and effective soap substitute for some people. It is especially helpful for cleaning the face and hands.

After bathing or showering, quickly and gently pat the skin partially dry with a towel (do not rub!). Within three minutes of getting out of the water apply a moisturizer (see discussion of moisturizers below) to seal the water in the skin before it can evaporate. Bath oil, if selected as a moisturizer, can be directly rubbed into the skin after showering or bathing, but should not be added to bath water since this can make the tub dangerously slippery. Moisturizers should be reapplied liberally during the day and evening when possible especially to those areas prone to dryness (hands, arms, legs) and when itchy.

Treat any red dermatitis (eczematous) patches with a topical cortisone (steroid) cream or ointment for a 5 to 15 day course. Over-the-counter strength cortisone creams and ointments can occasionally be helpful, but prescription strength products are often required to calm down this type of dermatitis. Make sure you understand where the cortisone cream or ointment is to be applied (only on the red patches unless instructed otherwise) and how often you should apply it (no more than twice daily). When using both a cortisone product and a moisturizer, always use the cortisone first and the moisturizer second.

Be careful about using other over-the-counter anti-inflammatory and itch-suppressing creams or lotions. Many of these products contain chemicals that can irritate or cause allergic reactions in dry, dermatitic skin. A good general rule is if anything that you apply to your skin causes more burning and itching than you started with, you should stop using it until you can talk with your doctor about it. Anti-itch products containing pramoxine (e.g., Prax, Pramosone) or menthol and camphor (e.g., Sarna) are generally safe to use. However, these products are not treating the cause of skin dryness, they are only temporarily treating the itching that accompanies skin dryness.

Any way that you can increase the humidity level in the air of your home and workplaces would be advisable. If not already present, you should consider adding a humidifier to the central heating system of your home. If you use a portable humidifier, make sure it is used in your bedroom at night.

Use of skin moisturizers (emollients) for long term control and prevention of dry skin.

Dry skin is usually a long-term problem that recurs often, especially in winter. When you notice your skin beginning to get dry, resume your moisturizing routine and avoid the use of harsh soaps. If the itchy, dry, skin rash returns, use both the moisturizers and the prescription steroid cream or ointment.

There are basically two types of moisturizers &emdash; facial moisturizers and body moisturizers. Most facial moisturizers on the market relate largely to makeup and cosmetic concerns. They are surrounded by considerable mystique and are often outrageously expensive. These products are different than body moisturizers in that they are very carefully designed to avoid causing allergic reactions (hypoallergenic) and flares of acne on the face (noncomedogenic). These types of facial moisturizers will not be discussed further here. While dryness of the skin of the face is usually not a major problem for people during the winter, the use of certain medications such as anti-acne treatments can produce considerable facial dryness in the winter or summer. There are several excellent facial moisturizers that also contain effective sunscreen chemicals that can be used in this setting (Neutrogena Moisture SPF 15 Untinted, Cetaphil Daily Facial Moisturizer SPF 15).

There are four basic classes of body moisturizers &emdash; ointments, oils, creams and lotions (listed in decreasing order of moisturizing power). It should be noted that all of the moisturizer products mentioned in this article are available without prescription.

Ointment moisturizers have the greatest ability to trap moisture in the skin, but they have the greasy consistency and feel of Vaseline Petroleum Jelly. People often shy away from using them because of the greasy feel, but this can be minimized by applying a small amount and rubbing it into the skin well. Examples of effective ointment moisturizers include Aquaphor and plain Vaseline Petroleum Jelly. In addition to brand name moisturizers, some common household products, such as Crisco vegetable shortening, can be used as very inexpensive body moisturizers. Again, the key to using an ointment is to apply small amounts and rub it in well.

Oil moisturizers are less greasy but still effective. Examples of oils that can be applied directly to the skin include baby oil, mineral oil, vegetable oil, and bath oil. Bath oils used in the bath water make the tub too slippery and should not be used. It is preferable to apply bath oils after getting out of the tub or shower, just as you would other moisturizers, directly to damp skin immediately after a light toweling off to partially dry the skin.

Cream moisturizers are usually white and disappear when rubbed into the skin without leaving a greasy feel. As a result they tend to be more popular than ointments. Examples of effective cream moisturizers include Original Eucerin Cream, Aquaphilic, Cetaphil Moisturizing Cream, Vaseline Cream, Eutra/Elta, Nutraderm, Moisturel, Nivea, Nutraplus, Complex-15, Carmol, Pen-Kera, and Neutrogena Hand Cream (especially helpful for dry, chapped hands).

Lotion moisturizers are suspensions of oily chemicals in alcohol and water. Lotion moisturizers are generally the least greasy and the most pleasant to use and therefore are quite popular. However, because of their alcohol content, they can be somewhat drying when used repeatedly compared to ointments and creams. The bottom line is that if the moisturizer you choose does not feel at least a bit greasy you may not be getting as strong a moisturizer as you might need. Examples of popular lotion moisturizers include Vaseline Intensive Care, Nutraderm Keri, Lubriderm, Curel, and Complex 15, Nivea, U-Lactin, Neutrogena, Nutraplus, Eutra Lite, Moisturel, Complex-15, Lac-Hydrin 5. There are many other cream and lotion moisturizers on the market that have not been listed here because of space constraints. We have chosen to list some of the more popular products and those more often recommended by dermatologists.

Some moisturizers contain chemicals that can cause skin irritation or allergic reactions in some people (e.g., fragrances, preservatives, alpha hydroxyacids, urea, sunscreens). Thus, if one brand of moisturizer gives you problems, try another in the same class that has a different set of ingredients. Within a given moisturizer class, the choice of which one to use is a matter of personal preference. Generally speaking, the greasier the feel of the moisturizer, the more it traps and holds water in the skin. To be fully effective, it is necessary to use a moisturizer three or more times daily, in the same way that chapped hands in the winter need many treatments. As mentioned before, the most important time during the day to use a body moisturizer is right after a short lukewarm bath or shower.

Everyone in our department hopes that the information presented above will help you, your family, or someone else you know to get through the winter season with less dry and itchy skin than ever before.

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My skin care

Exfoliation:

2 tb sp Olive oil + 1 tsp. powdered sugar - Mix thoroughly, Apply generously, scrub gently , and then wash with water, pat dry. Repeat once in 2 or 3 days. Get someone to do it to your back. I found this extremely effective. The scales can be actually scrubbed off.

Dry Skin Lotion:

Mix the following in a blender and store in a container. Apply generously after bath every day without fail. Cover entire body.

50g Vaseline Petroleum Jelly

50 ml. Glycerine

10 large Vitamin E capsules - open and pour the oil

50 ml Olive oil

50 ml any good moisturizing lotion ( Nivea, Dove, Ponds .. )

Oil Massage:

Mix thoroughly equal quantities of Olive oil, Mustard oil, Til ( Sesame) oil, Coconut oil and Almond oil ( Johnson's baby oil) . Total quantity should be 100 ml or more. Get a massage done. let the oil be rubbed into the skin fully.

Hair Care:

Massage scalp with generous application of Mustard Oil . It is excellent for hair and aids in growth and maintenance. Keep for at least 1 hour. Over-night application is the best. Wash off with a mild Shampoo - I use L'Oreal .

Face Mask:

Mix thoroughly 2 tbsp. thick Curd , 1 tsp honey. t pinch turmeric powder, any flour enough quantity to make a nice spreading paste. Apply evenly on face, neck. Keep till the mask dries and the skin feels tight. Gently wash off, scrubbing off the mask. You can use a wet cloth also.

Papaya is an excellent face mask. Leaves the skin feeling fresh the whole day.

Honey, Lime juice and any flour is also equally good mask.

Root cause of Corruption in Society

2011-12-13T17:13:00.000-08:00

Why are some people corrupt? Who do we have so many scams??

I think and think. I have concluded GREED and lack of integrity as the root cause of corruption - this greed is to possess much more than any body else, to be most powerful. Having one comfortable house, one great car is not enough. This person wants more and more. He is also very intelligent to realize all sorts of loop holes in the law of the land , manipulate people and situations to fulfill his GREED and turn those into his advantage.

But in my 61 years of non-momentous life journey , I have experienced that these extreme greed is caught and punished by the law of the land or by the unseen hands of providence - ALWAYS WITHOUT FAIL. Quicker the climb on the stairs of corruption, greater the fall.

All my own thinking of course!!

America revisited third time

2011-08-11T14:16:00.000-07:00

Sunnyvale - 11th Aug 2011

Historic Murphy Street - Sunnyvale, CA

Sylvan Park, Sunnyvale, CA

Roses on the roadside, Sunnyvale

July 11, 2011

I land in US for the third time in Sunnyvale, CA. The transition from a wonder struck Indian loving and appreciating everything American to a more critically aware and analyzing Indian. But always Indian at heart. loving my country most.

March to May 2007:
My First visit to Champaign, Illinois is still fresh in memory. March 2007 - India underdeveloped , developing nation. few malls. narrow roads, poor nation. Stayed in Champaign in UIUC campus. I am in awe of Walmart - its giant size, I fell in love with the amazing nature that is nurtured everywhere - the trees, the green grass. The weather went from end winter in March - to beautiful colorful spring- to beginning of summer. The transition form leafless trees in March - to trees totally covered in colorful fragrant blossoms - to lush greening of trees - end May. Fell in love with Champaign - the small Americal town, downtown Chicago - the breathtaking architectural beauty of skyscrappers , the drawbridge, the vast lake Michigan. Avid photographer that I am - the beauty of America simply fascinated me - 1500+ photos. Beautiful clean broad roads, cars of all makes and sizes , road descipline, long walks on tree lined sidewalks of self discovery. Simply loved it all. Vivek stayed in a studio apartment barely enough for two. Vidya stayed with us for some days and then moved to california. When I returned back to India, people around me got bored hearing me praise America at the drop of a hat. Everytime I compared problems in India to how they did not exist in USA.

Orchids bloom in Downtown Chicago - May 2007

Draw Bridge on Chicago river

UIUC Quad greens in Summer

Frozen Lake of Woods - Champaign

Fremont CA - March 2009 to July 2009
My second visit was to Fremont in March 2009- Vivek married to Vidya, a 2 bed room rented apartment in a gated community - comfortable - pretty landscape everywhere. India progressing nation - more malls in the neighbourhood, the Mumbai-Pune express highway was born and changed the way we travelled in the Ghats section earlier winding thro dangerous narrow roads choc-a-block with traffic - this was just a plain stretch of excellent roads, high speed travel - life was transformed in a certain positive way - My second son Hari too was married, life was looking up for me. I enjoyed walking and discovering the beauty of a residential area, nice houses with lovely lovely rose gardens, trees laden with oranges, a slightly chilly pleasant sunny weather . The huge roses on the roadside always brought a smile, the camera was out, and a sense of joy. Travelled a lot with Vivek, visited Yosemite, LA, Sequioa National park and King's Canyan, Bigsur, Monterey - all stunningly beautiful places. April is fabulous as the snow from winter melts and the water falls are in full force and river are full of rapids. The trees are covered in spring blossoms. Fell in love with San Fransisco and simply loved it each time we visited it Another 1500+ photos added to my portfolio.

But I as a person was changing - more mature, more aware, more experienced in life's ways. India was making good progress too. I was a mother-in-law now and the role was different. Realized what is meant by "Two is company but Three is a crowd".

Sunnyvale - July 2011
This time the picture is totally a transformed one. So many historical changes. First and foremost America was hit by financial disaster - many banking businesses declared bankruptcy, laid off workforce, joblessness hit America, the first black President - Barrack Obama was elected . Politically the whole world was undergoing changes. Countries ruled by kings and families were waking up to freedom of the individual and fighting for their rights. Everything in every country seemed to be "Made in China"

Second my own country India ( along with China) was now recognized as an emerging super power with its resilient dynamic young work force, surviving the world economic downturn very competitively. Fantastic infrastructural developments were happening everywhere. Nigdi Pradhikaran where I live for the last 20 years now had beautiful broad clean roads, several flyovers were getting built to facillitate fast traffic movement, large luxury cars were a common sight. There was hope in the air. Anyone with some skill was doing well. The IT and ITES industry employed youth and brought prosperity to large number of families. Big business houses like Tata, Birla, Reliance had set up large Malls everywhere - so Walmart visit in USA lost its novelty. Everything was now available in India - one need not bring from USA or elsewhere. Now India is gearing up with Metro railways in many cities. A sense of optimism prevails in my country. Life is Good in India.

Personally my life has undergone total transformation. For one I was now 60+ years old. For nearly 2 years I all went thro severe stress due to some family problems. I now lived alone and that requires courage and brought tremendous inner growth. I enjoy my independent single status. I was getting good work opportunities as a corporate trainer in Oracle. I traveled on work outside Pune, stayed in hotels and enjoyed my work. Life seemed to have come a full circle.

So when I stepped into the USA for the third time things felt different. Vivek and Vidya have their own place - a comfortable home. They are expecting their first child. Many of their friends too. So right now we attend baby showers on week ends, I am a senior citizen (!!!) - or elders- sit in groups of parents visiting children in USA.

There are so many great things about American way of living. What never fails to amaze me is how America maintains and nurtures nature everywhere. It is trees, trees and more trees lining each and every road and grass and more grass everywhere we go. The cleanliness is something India must emulate. The American one encounters is always warm and caring with an easy smile. Discipline is a natural trait. Everything seems to work in perfection. But the huge use of power, fuel , the gigantic plastic garbage makes me worry for mankind.

I seem to be cured of my USA obsession of my first visit. May be I will not boast about USA so much when I go back !!

As always I look forward to putting my foot back into my country.

Moving On

2011-02-23T23:18:00.000-08:00

ACCEPTANCE

You accept that you are responsible for all the mess you are in, and look deep within - What is now the best course of action for YOU? That is all that matters.

MOVE ON. This is the beauty of LIFE.

Thought Driven Life and Random Happenings

2010-08-08T22:08:00.000-07:00

Goutama Bhuddha suffered many many years ( his biography by Deepak Chopra is absolutely revetting reading. Just loved his way of dramatizing and visualizing such a by-gone era.. ) and went into deep deep self journey and came out with the 4 truths and eight fold path to liberate mankind from its suffering.

Well, I have zeroed in on my own philosophy as a result of endless hours of timepass.

1. Choices we make

Our life is driven by our choices - Every little and big act and turns and twists of our life is the choice we make at each and every moment. We choose to suffer, we choose to enjoy, we choose to feel happy or sad. Our resentment, our loves are our choices - we choose to love someone and choose to hate someone. We choose to react in particular way.

2. Our thought process

All these choices are driven by our thought processes. Every one is justified in his own eyes of all the actions he does because that is the way he thinks. Many times we later realize the folly of our action , we regret that we acted in a particular way or we made a wrong choice. Given a second chance in life, we may repeat the same life - We cannot help that we are this way. When we accepted this of ourselves and all others who cross our path in life, we will be truly liberated.

3. Random happenings

Life is a series of random happenings - there is no such thing as destiny. Many things just happen - there is no reason, no cause . No point in trying to explain why, how, what etc.. Just accept that and move on.

Ha Ha Vats You chose to write this. and you thought of it and it just happened randomly.

Am I Bhuddini?? A new philosophy for mankind??

Excess Baggage

2010-06-30T05:53:00.000-07:00

The Monkeys riding on our backs

These days a new enlightenment is dawning on me - the concept of excess baggage. It all started when I saw during my morning walks - so many people having a protruding bloated belly - I thought that is excess weight he/she is carrying. Slowly I became aware of so many other forms of excess baggage that we human beings carry. They are like monkeys riding on our backs.

I am now trying to unload these as I am also a carrier of these loads. I also felt that just like we have to pay excess baggage charges in airlines ( I am always a candidate for that.. ) , life too extracts certain penalty from us for accumulating and letting these excess baggage dominate our life.

Excess Body baggage: Too much fat ( also known as obesity) carried around our body weighs down and stresses the bony skeleton that is designed to carry a certain load. It strains the heart to pump blood in the face of such weighty resistance all over.

The baggage charge : All sorts of health issues, constant guilt of excess weight

Pack it light: Be aware of what you eat all the time. Eat for good health not just to satisfy the taste buds.

Material baggage: THINGS, THINGS and more THINGS. Over years we tend to accumulate lots and lots of things around us. We keep on adding to the pile - loads and loads of clothes, electronics, artifacts, hundreds of random things. Housewives collect even huge number of plastic bags, empty containers, vessels of all shapes and sizes. Some houses have mounds of news papers and old magazines. Some ladies collect shoes, make-up.

All our attics, storage spaces are choked with things.

Greed and desire for expensive jewelery, land, houses, cars etc. rule many who accumulate these even at the cost of their integrity, harming others even their nation.

Most of the things we collect are rarely used by us.

Harshad Mehta who lived in a one room tenement became so rich and had so many houses and cars all thanks to the share scam that he cleverly invented - but the man never lived to enjoy all that he died at the age of 36.

Instead of throwing away, we keep them thinking - "That may be useful someday". Only that someday never happens even once in five/ten/twenty years.

The baggage charge : Loss of precious space in the house, and loss of mental peace that will come by shedding these.

Pack it light: Just throw, throw, throw. Only keep things which you will use at least once a day.

Psychological baggage: So many past thoughts, so many future desires. Opinions about everyone , judgement, resentments, hatred, obsession, addiction fill our mind. Hundreds and hundreds of past events over years, pains and pleasures of the past, so many desires and wants for the future clutter and take up all our mental space.
The baggage charge : Not able to enjoy the light-weight and ultimate bliss and joy that comes by shedding this load off our back - OOPS mind.
Pack it light: This is a tough one as we have to go deep within ourselves. We have to understand ourselves. We have to learn to enjoy the stillness, silence and expanse of the universe
within amidst all the external noise . We have to come to terms with our impermanence of our existence on Earth. We have to clean sweep our mental space constantly.

Relationship baggage: Some relationships bring us no joy and sit on us like chimpanzees and gnaw the very life out of us. It may be very close relationships like parent-child, husbands -wife, siblings, family relationships or peripheral ones like friends, official ones etc. We know the futility of holding on yet do not wish to unload these off our backs.

The baggage charge : They choke the very life out of us. Most expensive baggage charge - they extract the joy of living itself.

Pack it light: This is the toughest baggage to shed as we human beings are ruled by our emotions. If we can tear this monkey off our back and toss it out, we will feel unbelievably light and joyous within and FREE to live and breathe.

Ah !! All that philosophy BAGGAGE !! I am exhausted ...

Self Realization

2010-04-04T23:50:00.000-07:00

Big Sur - There is a water fall into the OCEAN

Understanding Oneself

Well so many incidences have been happening in life - all to a great reward.

Parent and Child think Different

Living with my son and daughter-in-law is an on-going learning process in balancing relationships. I came to realize that the love that the parent feels for the child cannot be reciprocated by the child. It is a different feeling. It is not a 2 way process. They are 2 different processes.

My expectation constantly for reciprocation of love, care, consideration, expenditures all lead me to often feel so disappointed , dissatisfied and unhappy. Till the knowledge dawned on me that my expectations were just not going to be fulfilled because the feelings were totally different and that is just natural. That realization calmed me down and now I feel happy to just be.

We as parents are extremely giving, generous and sacrifice all our basic needs to give the best to our children.

Mama, I did not ask you for anything

First of all, the child did not need all this. It did not ask to be born into this world, it did not ask any sacrifices to be made. You could have fed simple kanji ( porridge..) , dal, rice and govt. milk. The child did not ask Nestle spray, Farex and all exotic food, toys , luxuries. If u did it, you did it out of free will and choice.

Lets us set each other FREE

Second , you have to set them free at some age - preferably by 20 years LET GO !! This freedom has to be a 2 way process - both the child and the parent have to let go of each other completely from within. Then the relationship blossoms and takes a whole fantastic shade. It becomes a rewarding experience to be in each other's company.

When you are a mother and a single parent, you get extremely emotionally entangled with your children and that leads to all sorts of confusion for both.

Be Financially INDEPENDENT

Third and a very important issue for a rich rewarding life journey is financial independence. Every individual should make easy inflow of cash into life from a young age to death. When you are young, all you think of are your children, put them in the best school, clothe them lavishly and make all sorts of sacrifices to make them feel good and may be thus squander away hard earned money. If you dream that your old age will be well taken care of by your well-to-do children, then you are in for a major disappointment. The human child is not programmed that way.

If you observe the animal world nowhere we see off-springs taking care of aged parents. It is always the parents caring for the off-spring till it is strong enough to fend for itself. But in the animal world the parent does only that much and does not cling to the off-spring once it is ready to face the world . The parent moves on with its life.

What sets the human race apart from all the other animal world is the ability to feel emotions, express them. Man's thinking power is so great that he created the entire world so beautiful, so comfortable to help him survive and thrive. His intelligence has been so rewarding to his species, but his emotions have been his undoing.

Self Discovery along the journey

SELF-REALIZATION.

After the advance course at the Art of living Bangalore Ashram, I go for regular morning walk and do 1 hour of breathing exercises ( Pranayam). There is a huge sprawling garden in Nigdi called Tukaram Park - I call it Nakshtra Garden. I am so blessed to be living in such a beautiful area. There are so many lawns, benches, trees - it is just such a beautiful place.

I do Kapalbhati (Thank you Ramdev Baba Guruji), Nadi Shodan Pranayam, Ujjai Breathing, Mudra Pranayam, Basricka and Sudharshana Kriya - for all these I am eternally grateful to Guruji Sri Sri Ravi Shankar.

All of them are breathing exercises. Takes me an hour. At the end of it I feel so light - as if I am nothing, my entire body feels one with nature. I also feel the immense vastness and the silence of this universe ( Thanks to Echart Tolle - "Power of Now") - the feeling is so divine. Your thinking simply blanks out and it feels so so good. One automatically slips into deep meditation and become one with nature around.

Sometimes it iis so funny - ON the one hand you feel you are nothing and on the other, you feel everything is within you - God, Guruji, nature ..

When I am returning home, I walk back slowly, feeling so weightless , so good, so peaceful It seems the world is so beautiful. I feel so grateful for everything.

This is the journey of SELF-REALIZATION.

I read recently Deepak Chopra's book - Guatama BUDDHA - His life journey - How he attained enlightenment. This book is a must read - it is written so well - one literally lives with Buddha in that period - The book does not discuss Buddhism - it is a dramatization of Buddha's life Thank you Deepak Ji . Grateful to you.

I now feel blessed that I may be getting there - ENLIGHTENMENT.

Life Transformation

2010-02-13T20:33:00.000-08:00

Advanced Course in Art of Living

Bangaluru Ashram with Guruji

Guruji Sri Sri Ravishankar

The Genesis for the course: Antarnad: Jan 12th 2010

I have always been a great admirer of Guruji - Sri Sri Ravishankar - the founder of "Art of Living". I had read some of his books and identified with his philosophies. So whenever he is in Pune and there is a public reception, I make it a point to go and enjoy.

These meets are well organized, the venue is beautifully done up in flowers and lights, there is music ( Satsang) and Guruji is fun to listen and relate to. Even though there are thousands of people, he seems to be communicating to you - "one on One" . He is always answering the question which I have been wanting to ask - this has happened always. He also always guides us through a 10 minute meditation and always I returned home with a pleasant feeling and some message in my head.

This time on Jan 12th 2010, at the "Antarnad" - a musical extravaganza organised by the foundation, a rare feat was being accomplished - 2600+ singers sang classical Hindustani music accompanied by great instruments and led by a lead celebrity singer. It was absolutely divine.

There was crowd of more than a lakh of people . Once again Guruji could communicate with each and everyone on a "One on One " basis. I saw him growing into a gigantic figure, towering into the sky - a Living God.

Carrying this pleasant feeling, I returned home and some day later just randomly googled "art of living". I chanced upon a course - a 6 day "Advanced course with Guruji at teh Bangalore Ashram" . It was just what I had been dreaming all these years - a week with Guruji at the Ashram.

In my personal life I was going thro a tough time and self-realization was dawning on me - the cause of all my suffering was the result of a Giant Sized Ego and negativity and highly emotional personality - this is what I concluded after analysing and analysing....

Now I am not an obsessive follower of Guruji or the Art of Living foundation and very critical and analytical of generally everything and generally a non-believer of so many ideologies. Also reading so many books and working on all those philosophies over so many years had brought lot of awareness and maturity within me. Did I need Art of Living?

Anyway I booked my participation on-line with Rs. 6000 as participation fee and booked my air ticket online for around 5K and set off on 2nd Feb. I enjoy my own company and look forward to all these lonely sojourns. I did not have any great expectation. I just thought let me understand Guruji and enjoy his presence for 6 days.

Went to my cousin Appu's house ( more on that in another blog)

Stay at Aparna

Next day reached the Ashram on 3rd Feb and was put up in "Aparna" the residential complex.

Aparna

Shared a room with 4 more participants. Met Viji and Prabha and we became very close friends. There was an instant rapport with them. Sangeetha who came later had a twinkle in her eyes and all three of us adopted her as our daughter. We attended the Satsang in the evening - Guruji was expected but did not come.

Bangalore Ashram - A hill resort?
The Ashram is on a hilly terrain with lush greenery in some places and lot of virgin undeveloped area. People tell us that Guruji himself has planted with his own hands the sandalwood trees.

Hilly Terrain

We had to walk up a hill thro' steep steps from Aparna to Visalakshi Mandapam (VM) and again VM had a large number of steps. I with my Arthritic painful knee was very stressed out - "Am I going to be walking up and down so much? " But soon I discovered a beautiful pathway ( a bit longer though) where I could almost avoid steps and began enjoying this route. Of course I had to walk this 15 min. path 8 times a day

Walking up and down a hilly terrain everyday

Visalakshi Mandapam

This is the central core venue. It is an absolutely beautiful huge circular hall, built in memory of Guruji's late mother Visalakshi. A smiling large photo of dear Amma welcomes all to the Mandap with love, compassion and a little twinkle in her eyes.

It is very pleasantly done up in cream and pink - tall golden curtains swaying in breeze, circular marble seating steps , completely enclosed in glass from all sides, a central stage which was clearly visible from all points. The ceiling had many pink lotus and chandeliers. There are two large entrances.

Scenic beauty around VM

Stage in front of VM for public Satsangs - Guruji sits here

VM Front Entrance

It had 4 floors, 2 for satsang, 2 large meditation halls - Mahavir hall and Buddha hall . The entire building was surrounded by a lotus shaped water body.

The interior exuded lot of stillness, peace, energy and joy and cool to the touch. It is the home for all activities for all courses.

We were asked to report at 6 a.m next day at Mahavir hall.

Food:

There is a massive kitchen catering to thousands of people everyday . There are several solar power generators and huu..ge steam boilers for cooking. Chapati is multigrained and the making is fully automated. Tonnes of organically grown vegetables in the Ashram were being deskinned and cut by hundreds of volunteers. Cooking is done for 3 meals a day - breakfast , lunch and dinner.

Breakfast : upma, idli or whatever with a cup of hot ragi kanji . Food was limitless - take as much as u want. Sometimes I was saddened to see people throwing away food.

Lunch : Chapati + 1 veg. + dal/sambhar/gravy dana like rajma, moong ete.. Buttermilk or chaas

Dinner : Same as lunch . A soup replaced buttermilk

Organic vegetables were so healthy and so huge in size and so tasty. There were variations in the menu everyday.

Each one had to wash their own plate and cup. The entire massive process of cooking, serving and cleaning was very well organized with most of the work shared by all - a concept called "Seva" . The vessel washing was the toughest job and I was surprised to see that most of this hard dirty work was enthusiastically shared by foreigners - both men and women - many of the cooking vessels were simply massive in size and very heavy to lift.

My First day at the course:

We got up excitedly at 4 a.m. as hot water was available only from 4:30 to 6 a.m. and 5 of us had to get ready using a single bathroom. So we planned a que and were ready by 5:30 a.m. Lot of giggling and laughter - fun time.

6:00 a.m. Mahavir Hall - One very young very smart looking boy ( ? ) called Rahul took our session - Yoga, Pranayam and Kriya . He trained us in a special set of Yoga exercises called Padma Sadana. At 8:30 we were let off and told next session will be at 10 a.m. We had to rush to the kitchen for breakfast and then Seva. It took around 15 minutes to reach from one place to the other. Breakfast was yummy hot tasty stuff accompanied by a hot cup of sweet Ragi Kanji (Millet porridge)

Concept of Seva:

The Ashram's manpower is mainly the guests who come to stay there. All the work like cleaning, serving food, cutting vegetables, sweeping and swabbing floors, gardening etc.. are all happily shared by all the public. It is a very humbling experience .

Seva is very therapeutic and stripes one of all ego. You work hard, but you know in your heart of hearts it does not matter whether you contribute or not - things will go on fine. But you want to do it - just for your own sake. You start feeling that this is your large family and you have to contribute . What you give is absolutely minuscule as compared to the gigantic proportion of the work involved. When you see tons of vegetables being cleaned and cut - what is your tiny share of cutting? The long corridors of all buildings are swept clean and whatever work you do is so little as compared to the whole. I came to realise the sense of belonging that developed in each one of us with each passing day due to this concept of Seva.

Guruji in one of the night Video session explained Seva in detail. He said it has to be absolutely self-less without any expectation not even happiness. like he said "If you do seva thinking this will bring joy to me " then it is not self-less. Seva made me realize how insignificant I truly am in the vast universe. Thousands of people have done self-less Seva to make the Ashram the magnificent place it is today and still the Ashram is steadily growing and evolving more and more beautiful and comfortable. So many youth - highly educated (IIT, IIM... ), well-to-do, professionals from all walks of life, the rich, the poor have all dedicated their life to the service of the Ashram and spreading the message of the Guru.

After 2 days I did not feel like eating till I had done some Seva. I started thinking "This is my home and how can I just eat and go?? So much work needs to be done!! "

10 a.m. to 1:p.m. Session :

We had a very young and handsome Guruji called Akash who conducted the training. He won all our hearts in no time - a very charming and lovable guruji. He was more like Guruji's messenger constantly telling us "Guruji said this and that " . He put us thro deep guided meditations, several well thought out games/exercises of sharing thro' interaction with our co-participants. These were sometimes so effective that several of us were weeping some uncontrollably - some catharsis effect. We generally kept our eyes closed thro' out so I do not know who cried so much.

We were specially trained in a meditation called "Hollow and Empty " by a taped voice of either a lady or Guruji himself. At the end of it, we had to sway and dance to a very meditative, soothening music. I cannot discuss the technique of this meditation - you have to experience it by undergoing the course. We also did lot of breathing exercises - Pranayams.

Guruji Akash Bhyya

Akash was particularly gifted with a clear rich voice, excellent command over English, good choice of words. He is a born story-teller.

Severe headache:

At the end of day-1 I had such a severe splitting headache - any painkiller was of no use. I just hit the bed and could not get up till next day morning. For 2 days I had severe headache. Third day I took a pain killer in advance. But still, when I went into deep meditation, I actually felt the headache coming. This went on on all the 6 days of my training.

Silence for 4 days:

Our Mouna-vrith started from the night of day1 . We should not talk at all - no cell phone. I switched off mine and put it away in the box. This silence was so enjoyable and so communicative too. We all enjoyed it. Silence is not new to me having read and practiced Echart Tolle who says "Feel the silence of the universe all around and with in you "

I simply loved the silence. But we did cheat at times knowingly or unknowingly.

The flowerwalis :

My relatives - "Sister", "Akka", "Amma"

There were several ladies selling flowers - huge beautiful roses - white, red, yellow, pink and Jasmine , rose, pink and white kaneri flower garlands . They would line our routes from morning 5:30 a.m to night11 p.m. They were excellent saleswomen who called out endearingly to us "Sister", "Mother", "Brother" and so on . They constanly beseached us to buy flowers for Guruji. I really admired their 100 % salesmanship at 100% of the time. Ended up buying everyday !!

The Fruitwallas:

3 - 4 fruit vendors manitained a steady suppy of the yummiest fruits - papaya, banana, oranges, watermelon, pineapple - I have never eaten such sweet friuts. We could geta heaped plate of mexed fruits at as little as Rs. 10. We really gorged on them at all times.

Fresh Hot Cow milk:

The Ashram breeds cows in "Goshala" - a special breed from Gujarat. lunch time and dinner time we could get this delicious hot thick milk and yummy ice cream at low prices. Simply enjoyed all that

Evening Satsang and the magician Guruji

Daily there is a satsang - singing bhajans together at VM. b/w 7:30 to 9 p.m. We were very lucky that from the third day onwards daily guruji would come for the satsang.

His presence simply charged the air with energy and joy. What is it in this man that attracts so many people to go crazy over him? love him so much from the bottom of their hearts? feel a soul connection with him? He is totally devoid of any lofty talk . Mostly he cracks jokes, makes us laugh, simply sits and goes into deep meditation or some times breaks into melodious music - Whatever it is his presence is greatly soothening , healing and electrifying. One cannot take one's eyes off him. When he talks, he always seems to clarify some doubt which you have been having for long. Such an unassuming person. The greatest thing about Guruji is "he genuinely believes that all are his family" That sense of belonging to each and every person around is what makes him so endearing !! He creates Magic everytime. He says He surrenders to the Love of his devotees who constantly shouted "Jai Gurudev" . He gives a very patient hearing to any question and answers each one with great kindness and compassion. Is this God? Thousands of devotees sit in pin-drop silence to hear every word he speaks.

The 6 day LIFE transformation course:

We had a packed rigorous schedule. We were all up by 4 a.m and back to the room at 10:30 p.m. Our schedule was such :

6 a.m. to 8:30 a.m. - Morning Yoga, Pranayam

8:30 to 10 a.m. : Breakfast and Seva or the otherway around.

10 to 1:15 p.m. : Meditation, Pranayam, more deep meditation, some dancing, some well designed sharing exercises with co-participants

1:15 to 2:15 Lunch break and Seva

2:15 to 5:30 Meditation, Pranayam, more deep meditation, some dancing, some well designed sharing exercises with co-participants

5:30 to 6:30 We were supposed to go for walks but invariably we ended up in Canteen for the first cup of tea for the day!!

6:30 to 7:30 Dinner and Seva

7:30 to 9 p.m. Satsang

9 to 10 p.m. : Watch Guruji's video.

I really enjoyed every bit of it, except for the severe headache.

Everyday we spent in eager anticipation of meeting the great man himself on a one-to-one basis. Initially I felt frustrated that he was not meeting us or coming to teach the course etc.. But slowly realized it really did not matter. The changes were happening with-in.

But the day he was to meet us, our group went really mad with excitement. First of all , we all dressed in our best. The dancing at the Satsang was so much (with total abandonment ) that the VM hall resembled a DISCO night!!

Prabha, Self, Viji Dressed to kill

Guruji had such a hectic day that day and I felt sorry for him - yet we were greedy - all wanted so much to meet him. It was a dream come true for all of us and it was absolutely thrilling and divine.

Lessons learnt:

First and foremost was the regular practice of Yoga, Pranayam and Sudharshana Kriya. Everyone must undergo some courses at AOL and learn these techniques.

Second was the effect of intense meditation on all the days. Seemed to clense my system inside out. I felt so light.

Somewhere along the way, I realized lot of things and the way of life for the future . If the "The Hollow and Empty meditation" concept is understood and practiced it can bring 100% peace into one's lives.

There was also an extremely moving exercise where we had to bless another person with all our heart looking into their eyes and afterwards hugging them tightly. The whole process is so therapeutic and I wept my heart out ( as did most of the participants) . We had to look into the eyes of the participant ; 3 different pairs of eyes ( of total strangers) will always remain etched in my memory. This exercise lingered with me and I blessed everyone whomever I chanced to come across after that. I hope I remain that way my whole life. I felt blessed and so beautiful.

Last but not the least Guruji's kind, soft voice on the following points are etched in my memory :

1. What is true Seva? If your living does not make a difference to another life, then what is the use of such a life? You may die - he said. He also explained in great detail what is true Seva - not donating some money and getting ur name engraved for eternity on some stone. This video was unforgettable

2. Guruji in another video said "You are a pearl - Each one of you - a beautiful one . But a pearl needs to have a hole so it can be strung together - All pearls together make a beautiful mala - What agreat philosophy - I mean What guruji meant was "be absolutely empty without any baggage - you can connect to another human being - all of us can connect with each other" Surely this great man connected with each and everyone he chanced to come across. I was reminded of the movie "Avatar" where the Navi's from another planet Pandora connect with each other. When they connect with a bird, they can fly at their will.

3. Guruji has given a simple principle for living :

Take care of your breathing for physical well being and Serve others for mental well being. Together this leads one to spirituality.

4. Akash Guruji had explained to us the Symbol of Buddha The right palm stretched open and held up and the left palm stretched and held down pointing to the ground - He said the right hand signifies that be alert and aware of each and everything happening to u - your emotions, thoughts, actions. The left hand pointing downwards says "Let go" of all - any emotion - anger, frustration, any thought ... This stayed with me and had a deep impact.

5. Akash Guruji also made us squat like a dog and put our tongue out and said "All ur life you have been wanting this and that .. " It was also a very effective way of making us realize the folly of our endless desires and wants.

After our course we visited some places in the Ashram - The very scenic Radha Kunj facing a serene lake, we meditated and did kriya at Sumeru mandap in the early morning, visited the Veda Patashala, Goshala, some exciting shopping, saw the Panchakarma centre for Ayurvedic Massages

Kalyana Mandapam

Open air Wedding venue at Radha Kunj

Serene Buddha at Radha Kunj

Panchakarma Centre

In Gratitude:

First and foremost I feel extremly grateful to Guruji for designing such wonderful courses to awaken and enlighten mankind.
I am grateful to the people who have worked so hard and made this Ashram what it is today out of a barren eerie land.
My co-particpants were a wonderful lot and the sense of belonging grew day by day . "Sangachatvam - We move together"

Somewhere I felt my ego tree was axed and all my negativity de-weeded . I hope to do kriya, yoga and meditation everyday without fail and Seva whenever an opportunity arises.

My next advanced course will be at Rishikesh with Guruji whenever he gives a call.

Jai Gurudev

The Towering Guru

2010-01-21T22:45:00.000-08:00

Guruji Swamiji Sri Sri Ravi Shanker

12th Jan 2010

There was a music concert at S P College ground Pune organised by the Art of Living group in the presence of Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. 2650 singers sang Hindustani Classical music led by leading artists, accompanied by excellent instrumental music.

Now I have always made it a point to attend Guruji's Pune visits. There was always some soul connection. In a crowd of 1 lac people, he can communicate with you one-on-one. Such massive crowd management was always a highly co-ordinated and organized event . The decoratons with art work and flowers and lights is so asthetically pleasing that I look forward to Guruji's visit eagerly.

But this time promised to be absolutely exciting - imagine 2650 singers singing together as one voice !!! It was an absolutely divine melody.

As usual the program turned out to be a World stunner - Only Guruji can manage such beauty and magnanimity. It was an unforgettable evening. I really feel sorry for all those who did not experience it first hand.

With my highly analytical and complex thinking, I am very weary of getting caught up with some groupism and swamijis.

But this time , I came back convinced of the divinity of this great human being - only once in a while such towering personalities walk the earth and then they become Gods - Lord Rama, Krishna, Jesus, Buddha, Sai Baba . When Guruji speaks the crowd of more that a lakh wait in stillness, silence and eager anticipation and simply drink in every word. He does not give some lofty principles

but says some simple guidelines. He always puts the crowd thro a simple 10 minute meditation and some fun.

What stuck me this time was what a great man was this!! He does not own any thing but the wealth he can generate is simple unimaginable. He does not have a son, daughter , wife or such relationships but thousands upon thousands scream 'We love You !!!" He simply invokes the feeling of LOVE and BLESSING within.

How rich he is in the true sense. He towers over the sea of suffering, struggling mankind - ushering an air of peace, happiness, tranquility - looking upon them with so much love.

I sense a SOUL CONNECTION with HIM

Soul Connection

2009-10-17T20:32:00.000-07:00

Changing thoughts - The journey along

A small incident - A great lesson

We had recd. a wedding invitation from one of our relatives and we as a family were keen to attend the occasions inspite of Hari's illness just to make our relatives happy. But we discovered that our visit was not as welcome - I do not understand the reason for that . Why was the invitation sent in the first place in that case?

Anyway as we were in the same city, I sent our blessings with a small token gift . I also recd. a dress as a gift. But to my dismay discovered it to be of a very cheap quality which I would hesitate to even gift to my maid. The concerned family is considered very rich by south Indian standards.

This little incident taught me a lot on human relations and I discovered the meaning of the word - "Soul Connection"

One thing I realized is that this incident left no bitterness, no hatred in my heart - only a deeper understanding of Human relationships. I met the family several times after that and things were cool - no awkwardness, no harsh feelings.

Now I feel more wise on all human interactions - all the social functions like marriages, festivals, celebrations are mainly for human interaction . Most of them are ego trips - satisfying yourself that you can afford so much or you can be so nice or may be to "Network" for mutual benifits or to flaunt your material possessions ;like house, car, clothes, jewellary or may be your be talents etc. what ever be the reasons there may not be much of genuine soul connection

A relationship has meaning only if there is "Soul connection" - mutual love and respect for just the other human being without any reason - stripped of everything else - just feeling happy that that person is there with you. .

I now dwell on all the people I interact with - most of them are for some reason of mutual benefit - such relationships are not long lasting - there are there and gone without any pain of separation. The pain comes when one person has expectation from the other and the other person does not sense it or fulfill it.

A lot of realization on the relationships I have developed over so many years dawned on me now

Parent-child relationship : I have ploughed all my energy into the relationship with my 2 sons over the last 30 years but now I realize the soul connection is missing .

The relationship with my parent is a cherished one - they have given my their all . I truely connected to my dad . I am happy and satisfied that I could serve them to some extent in their old age. My mother 86 years old is a Parkinson's patient and my wish now is I should serve her and let her feel dignified about her age and disability.

Most of the relationships with friends have been of a temporary nature

With my siblings I share a very deep cherished bond

Personality Development for Smart people

2009-10-06T05:16:00.000-07:00

Mankind CO-EXISTS

I came across this most wonderful web site by Steve Pavlina. You can read all about him here

So much to read, so much to learn, so much to mull over, so many ideas to transform yourself and all FREE !!

Thank you Steve for being there in this world somewhere and contributing to betterment of lives of everyone .

HOPE everywhere for everyone

Recently when I had a major crisis in my personal relationship, and suffered severe depression, I discovered that there is a whole lot of help available in the net and all FREE. So many people sharing their thoughts - I realized I am but a tiny part of this giant whole called HUMANITY.

Kings Canyan and Sequoia National Park

2009-09-14T03:27:00.000-07:00

Giant Sequoia Tree

Rapids in King's River

July 4th 2009

We left for kings Canyan and Sequoia National park in the morning of July 4th 2009 . I expected some show of celebration as it was the American Independence day but there was no such sign. Back in India, Independence Day means blaring loud speakers, people carrying the Indian flag, TV displaying the flag hoisting ceremony and the prime minister's or President 's speech at Red Fort New Delhi, all school children in their respective coloured school uniforms, teachers in white sarees, the air resounding with "Sare Jaha se Acchha Hindusetha hamara..." , "Hey Mere Vatan Ke Logo, Jara aank me Barlo Pani " etc... I missed all that as in USA people simply packed off in their cars to different holiday spots and set about enjoying the long week end.

It was a long drive and the temperature was climbing up. On the way Vidya bought some nice farm fresh Straw berries, Blue berries, Cherry tomato, huge cucumber and we ate all that happily, It was a long tedious drive but once we entered the Sequoia Park all our tiredness vanished. We saw the huge aged GIANT seqouia trees touching the skies and really it is a world wonder. Imagine trees as old as 1000 to 3000 years and this is the only place on earth they were found.

The drive inside is absolutely scenic with the King's river flowing deep down in the canyan and surrounded by mountains - In some places the river was in great fury with fearful rapids, while in some walking trails the river was absolutely calm like a lake. As with all tourist destinations in USA this park is well preserved with several walking trails. It is best to carry good food packed in bear resistant canisters and drinking water. There were scenic water falls, meadows, lots and lots of trees and trails leading to Giant Sequoia groves.

The photo link is here

Day 1 KIngs Canyan
Day 2 Sequoia National Park

Visit to Los Angeles

2009-06-24T04:50:00.000-07:00

Jun 20, 21 2009 - Visit to LA

Enchanting Disneyland LA

The photo links are here

Saturday Jun 20th 2009 Vivek and myself left the house from Fremont at 4:30. We drove to LA. It took us a long time to reach LA with several stops as the car had some heating issue but luckily Vivek solved it. But we touched Disney Land only by 1 p.m ( almost 7 to 8 hours of sitting/driving) Actually one can do the trip in less than 6 hours.

Disney Dream Land
Disney Land is a dream place to visit and I am lucky to have seen it. Actually I was not at all super excited about it as fun rides were never my favorite past time and I imagined it to be kid's stuff. But the beauty and quality of fun at Disney is to be experienced to understand it. I was amazed at the vision, the management and the planning to perfection of entertainment at Disney. You really felt you got more than your money's worth. If you have some of the child left in you ( and did not kill it with age and cynicism) then you are sure to have a blast , enjoy and cherish the memory.

It is situated at the outskirts of Los Angeles known as Anahiem in a sprawling campus . It is a Theme park and a holiday resort. On your birthday you can ride free. The huge place is covered with attractive greenery, flowers, water bodies, pretty buildings with architectures looking elegantly classical , walkways. All the buildings house shops or cafes.
The parking lot is so huge and we have to take a train to go to the park itself. I read that Walt Disney ws very fond of trains and had one in his backyard running for his children , so he wanted a train visible thro out the park. Generally you can spot a train running with people in many places. Even we went in one such train rides.

The area of the park is divided into several themes with several rides thrown in. Some of the themes are

Main Street USA has very pretty buildings and the street looks awfully busy. Actually these buildings house shops and cafes inside. Lots of free rides like horse buggy, small carriages etc are plying the roads .

Main Street USA

Animal World is set in a sprawling water way and you take the ride in a small boat with about 20 more people. There are lots of animals like elephants , giraffe, Zebra, tiger, hippo, rhino, monkeys , pretty skulptures, tribals etc.. on the route. They all look real but really are not. The ride winds its way thro' dense woods. The boatman gives a running commentary and keeps you entertained and informed.

Animals in Animal Kingdom are not real

Adventure Land consists of several rides. We took "Pirates of the Caribbean" and "Indiana Jones" and walked up and down Tarzan's dwelling. The former is a boat ride to the carribean with all scenes of the pirate way of life, fabulous music, narration, darkness, scarry turns and drops . The movie is a copy of this ride. The Johnny Depp look alike is there . All the pirates and their ladies partners and everything looked so real , so alive.. I wanted to go on the ride again. I liked the experience a lot.

The Indiana jones ride made me tired as we had to walk a lot thro' winding stone ways to reach the boat and lot of hype was built about it, it was a boat ride in darkness with terrible turns and dead drops in water and (supposedly) scarry scenes like a deadman popping out hanging by a rope, deafening sounds and dialogs and another vehicle coming to collide with your boat etc..

New Orleans is set in a water body resembling the Missisippi river with a ride in a ship called "Columbia" , a boat house set in the middle of water, a ship called "Mark twain" and several small boats which are self driven by the riders with oars. We took the Columbia ride which has a captain and several ropes and wood work resembles the ships of olden days. The captain kept us amused by witty ramblings and behaves as if we were sailing in those days. The route is set thro jungle area with animals and tribals and lush greenery.

View of Missisippi river aboard the ship Columbia

splash water mountain is set in a high hill - has roller coaster rides and rides thro' rapids.
Future World has several rides - submarine ( finding Nemo.. ) , bullet train type ride which we took, and more such rides which we did not take
Its a small world is a cute ride in a small boat inside a tunnel like route with loads of toys and dolls resembling children from all over the world and all dancing to a tune its a small world the music resonates thro' the route and one emrges from the ride feeling very happy and hopeful.

Dancing toys in the Its a Small World

I just loved this ride so much that we took it a second time. The whole area is vibrant with plants, flower beds and a pretty castle in the middle which has several doors . Cute little figures emerge out of so many spots from this castle periodically and march to a song . There are several plants cut out in animal shapes.

Listen and sing this song here in youtube

Watch the actual ride "Its a small world" video here

The Disney parades is one of the highlight of the day . There are 2 or 3 floats with all sorts of disney comic figures ( actually people) , loads of balloons and some theme for the display. The day we went there was live music and party dance . Several boys and girls and the comic Disney characters dressed prettily danced to a live DJ belting out music ( actually sang) . It was such a joyous feeling to watch this in the middle of the streets of USA . The whole atmosphere was so charged with excitement.

Its a dance party

Fireworks at the castle is at 9:30 p.m. lights up the castle in different colors accompanied by music and fireworks.

Music, laser show , fountains and fireworks show called Fantasm at the New Orleans water area depicts a story of conquest of good Micky over evil Micky with fabulous music , drama , lights, figures created with laser, fire, fireworks, dance , lit floats of the boats, ship with boys and girls dancing... It is a dream vision and one can only experience it to understand it. It is at 9 p.m. and 10:30 p.m.

There were pretty cafes everywhere with lots of tables and chairs for seating and great views. We did not go on all rides as there were so many of them and we had time only for some.

The night lighting of the entire park area is awesome and makes the whole place take on a festive look. The day we went the park was so crowded and even at 11:30 night people were standing in queues for rides.

Some Disney facts are here

About Walt Disney
Disney Corporation Official web site
About Disney Corporation
Financial information from Google Finance

Walt Disney won 26 Oscars
He just lived for 65 years (1901 to 1966) and created this brand (1923) along with his brother Roy Disney
1,50,000 employees and a turnover of $ 35 Billion, assets valued at $67 Billion
Has 2 daughters one of them adopted
Hailed from Illinois
Took the art of animation to a exceptionally high level of technological expertise
The workforce at the theme park is excellently trained and appear to enjoy whatever they are doing. The dancers seemed to be loving to do that.
The theme park had top class management to manage such massive public entertainment and crowd day in day out. The park's working hours are 8 a.m. to 12 p.m. there was constant cleaning going on and things were maintained 100%. Even the rest rooms were massive and managing such huge crowd . Everything was managed and organized with clock work precision.
Disney resorts have hotels and theme parks and club memberships
It is a massive business - the entertainment industry
All the rides had fabulous music , dialogs .. which means execellent speaker systems installed everywhere. The animated figures of human and animals in all the rides were technologically very superior. The rides were all child-friendly and safe.

My heart felt gratitude to this great human being "Walt Disney" . We left Disney land at 11:45 with aching legs , so tired and headed to our hotel room in Santa Monica a 45 min dangerous drive with a sleepy vivek driving half in sleep .

Jun 21 2009

Blue Waters of the pacific Ocean

Busy Santa Monica Pier

We left the hotel at 10 a.m to Santa Monica Pier. We parked the car and walked around the famous 3rd street so full of life so vibrant .

3rd Street at Santa Monica

The Santa Monica pier jets out into the Pacific ocean. Lots of holiday revelers in colorful summer clothes were enjoying this warm Sunday and "Father's day" too . The ocean looked beautifully blue, the trapeze trainer was swinging in the hot sun his body chiseled like a Greek god

Swaying in the air - trapeze trainer

Is there anybody there? Live singing

there were loads of other business all over the place - engrave your name in a rice grain, get a hand painted cartoon caricature of yourself, hats, dress sellers in cart, guy singing into a mike with proper music system hoping to catch the ears of some holidaying hollywood music producer, and lots more. It is really a happening place - Santa Monica beach. So many visions, so many tramps !!

Beverly hills
We then drove to Beverly Hills - It is such a beautiful place of the rich and the famous. The streets look so pretty , decked with huge balls of flowers hanging from poles, beds of white roses and lots and lots of palm trees.

Hanging Balls of flowers on the road

Brand Stores and car expo

Dream Cars

There was a car expo right in the middle of the road and so many expensive and slick looking cars were on display. Vivek was so excited and clicked so many photographs with his iPhone. There were all sorts of the most expensive brand shops on either side of the road like Armani, Chanel, Cartier etc..

We drove around Beverly admiring pretty houses of the Hollywood celebrities.

Pretty Houses of the rich and the famous at beverly Hills

One house seemed had 15 Ferrari cars parked!! I felt the place looked so much like a nice suburb of Pune or Mumbai or Chennai - I told vivek "You should buy a house here". and he found that very funny - like Beverly Hills was so unaffordable

Hollywood
We then drove around Hollywood.

Hollywood sign is on the hills behind

Streets of Hollywood

Kodak theatre

Photographs with famous film characters

and saw the Kodak theatre where the Oscar award ceremonies are always held. Many people dress up like famous characters in films ( like spiderman, batman, pirates of the Carribean etc.. .) and take photographs with the visiting crowd for some small amount. This is a business here. We did not have time for Universal studios .

We drove back home enjoying sunset over the ocean and thro Malibu, Santa Barbara - a small pretty beach town.

San Fransisco Revisited - Fisherman's Wharf

2009-06-08T08:25:00.000-07:00

June 6, 2009

All the photos are here

Fisherman's Wharf
Saturday Jun 6 2009 Vivek and I went to San Fransisco to do touristy things like Taking the Bay cruise, Walking in Crooked street, taking the cable car also called tram, visiting Giradelli Square and eating the famous Giradelli ice cream. The roads of San Fransisco look dangerously hilly winding up and down , the day was bright, sunny and cool , lots and lots of tourists, and the city was dressed up as usual for tourists with bright colored flowers hanging out of pots everywhere.

The cruise goes in a round trip from Fisherman's wharf to Golden Gate bay where the San Fransisco bay meets the Pacific ocean . The cruise craft we took had 3 levels - a basement cafeteria, and 2 levels up with enclosed and open seating area and the open deck with seats - we took the top deck. It is a hour's Cruise and costs 24$ per person. It is money well spent and the ride is very enjoyable with the blue water and the chilly breeze and the bright sun and the magnificent Golden Gate bridge view. .

Cruise goes under the Golden Gate bridge

The piers at Fisherman's wharf is a vibrant tourist attraction and has swarms of Cafe, music, flowers and flowers everywhere, even live performers belting out music , rows and rows of shops.

Giradelli Square
We then walked to Giradelli Square which is a picturesque historical tourist spot overlooking the ocean. Giradelli is a world famous brand of chocolates and here they have an ice cream outlet. The ice creams are something to die for. The place was crowded with tourists. The shop has huge machines making chocolates in mass scale - so one can see how it is done .

We then took the cable car which is what we in India would call a tram - a small bus running on railway type lines on road. Costs 11$ per person. The roads of San Fransisco are really very peculiar - they go uphill and down - it is almost like climbing hills up and down - A driver new to this place would be quite scared looking at the roads. Most of the hilly roads slope down towards the ocean.

Cable car

In this tram we could get in anywhere and get off anywhere. The stop is always the middle of a traffic signal junction - how wierd!! .

Walking down the steps in Crooked Street

Crooked (actually Lombard ) street
We got off at crooked (actually Lombard ) street . Now this is a famous street and it is like Formula one track - the road dangerously winds down thro' many steep blind turns and overlooks the ocean. There are steps too if u fear driving ( your car brakes should be in good condition else you can trigger off accidents ) and want to walk down . On either side of the road there are landscaped flower patches and cutely shaped trees - Everything is a tourist attraction.

Posing with an actual Ferrari driven by Kimmi Reikenan in a F1

The photos are here

Gautama Buddha

2009-05-28T13:16:00.000-07:00

Some of the fundamentals of the teachings of Gautama Buddha are:

The Four Noble Truths:

Suffering is an inherent part of existence
The origin of suffering is ignorance
The main symptoms of that ignorance are attachment and craving
Attachment and craving can be ceased

Following the Noble Eightfold Path will lead to the cessation of attachment and craving and therefore suffering.

Right understanding
Right thought
Right speech
Right action
Right livelihood
Right effort
Right mindfulness
Right concentration.

Dependent origination: that any phenomenon 'exists' only because of the ‘existence’ of other phenomena in a complex web of cause and effect covering time past, present and future. Because all things are thus conditioned and transient (anicca), they have no real independent identity (anatta).

Rejection of the infallibility of accepted scripture: Teachings should not be accepted unless they are borne out by our experience and are praised by the wise.

Anicca (Sanskrit: anitya): That all things are impermanent.

Anatta (Sanskrit: anātman): That the perception of a constant "self" is an illusion.

Dukkha (Sanskrit: duḥkha): That all beings suffer from all situations due to unclear mind.

America - True leadership

2009-05-15T12:52:00.001-07:00

Well I think America is truly a world leader for mankind. I am a very patriotic Indian at heart and deeply attached to India, its soil, air, water , and its people, its values and its way of life and in fact everything Indian.

Now when I live in Fremont, California and see America as a pedestrian and lay person, I admire so many things .

1. The most green Land

Where ever I go, I witness the intelligent thinking behind preservation and nurturing of fabulous natural wealth, It is trees, trees and more tall old trees and rows upon rows of young well tended trees . Trees fed with wood shavings derived from trees. Green grass everywhere. Large expanses of land protected as woods, parks, natural preserves. Roadsides lined with trees. Roses , tulips, daffodils and many other colourful blossom cover the roadside , hill slopes, and are everywhere. There are vast expanses of green grass in huge parks, roadsides

This vast natural resource is surely America's heritage sure to benefit mankind. It is like a whole nation out to nurture nature.

The state and national parks are reservoirs of more trees, lakes, birds, animals, rivers, mountains

Love for nature is thus implanted into the very core of American existence.

2. Development of basic infrastructure

America can boast of fabulous infrastructures which include :

The nation-wide network of transport - roads, airways, railways.
Computerization of all dealings - almost 100% accounting of most of the money movements - the concept of black money - unaccounted money transaction is not common in day-to-day life.
Taking advantage of internet - All American businesses have a web site catering to their business needs. Any information one is looking for is surely there on the internet. All government related information is there on the internet. The use of internet is so prevalent that it is almost like living with you as the most useful partner. One uses the net to shop, look up real estate information, job searches, travel info, booking tickets....
The entire country is covered by GPS. You can drive to new places comfortably with the help of the GPS guiding you. This is 95% efficient. Rarely in some places the GPS will not work.
911 and Emergency paramedic services : The wonder telephone number 911 is for any emergency help - accident, heart attack, robbery, riot, breakdown, any situation where one needs immediate help. America rushes to rescue with a nationwide developed network of emergency services.

Automation of most tasks - watering by Sprinklers

Automation of several manual tasks lead to greater productivity, safety and control - like there are so many sprinklers everywhere - in gardens, lawns on the road, in fields so the tough task of manual watering is not there and every piece of grass on the roadside is well cared for. Gates and doors close/open with remote controls or automatically - like in a bus no one is issuing tickets. There is a machine to do that..

Best Road Network in the world

3. The American business mentality

The Americans are excellent businessmen. Every successful business has its own USP that made it a brand. The aim is to make money flow into the business from the consumer.

Chains:

Every successful business model is multiplied by chains. This means if an American starts a business and it succeeds, then he/she starts several branches/franchisee/stores with the same success model. So we have Walmart and all other malls like Sears, Costco, Macy, etc, Walgreen, Safeway ( food items like veg, friuts etc.. ) , Long (Drug store... ) , Danny (Food), jack in the Box, ColdStone(Ice cream... ) etc..etc..

Generous Deals:

Most of the business try to move the goods as fast as possible out of their shops by offering attractive discount deals - known as Clearance. It is not that clearance means sub standard old stock. Every business tries to optimize their money inflow by making their offer attractive and profitable for you - the customer to spend. Like when Mother's Day was nearing prices on flowers were lowered so you would feel like buying. Price of a bunch was reduced from 20$ to 16$ so you may think "Wow - it seems low now.. " as you were used to seeing the price as 20$ all these days. I compared this to the Indian model where during Valentines day a rose could cost Rs. 40 to 100 while normally the price of such a rose was 1 rupee. Generally the customer gets "Value for money spent". Coldstone - the icecream chain store offers six type of toppings free

Genuine Deals

Respect for Customer:

The customer any where is always treated like a special person , welcomed warmly and greeted . Even if you do not buy anything no one looks down upon you. Goods bought can always be returned and you get cash back. A promise on a product has to be true else the consumer can take the business to court. The American law protects the consumer first. With that fear generally labels on all products reflect truth.

Quality first:

America attracts products from all over the world - made in China, India, Bangla desh, Canada, Ireland, Italy, Thailand, Mexico, Pakistan - you name a country and mostly there is some product on display from that country. But all products must pass stringent quality standards. So while back in India "Made in China" means cheap sub standard things, it is not so here. Most of the goods sold are of good quality. The concept of cheating on quality to make a fast buck is missing in the American business model.

America sells itself to its people in many ways . Every city, state have any number of lakes, parks, entertainment zones, zoos, botanical gardens, beaches etc. There may be entry fee, toll on the way, paid parking lots. All the places generally have basic facilities free like restrooms, parking zones, barbecue stands, picnic benches etc.. Maps are always available. Hospitality is very visible. Mostly there are nice eating places. Many places may have free bus rides around the parks. All this makes an average American and visitors and tourists happy to come and spend hard earned money happily on his family.

4. Self-Discipline - American Culture

There is lot of discipline built into the fabric of American society . I observed that this reflects in so many ways

1. Soft-spoken - They talk in low voices and generally very kind.

2. Traffic discipline - Everyone obeys traffic rules naturally - drivers, pedestrians- If someone is crossing the road, the driver will always stop to let that person pass first.

3. Clean - There is no garbage thrown randomly every where

4. High standards of work ethics - people work sincerely and to the best of their ability

5.Law-abiding nation: Strict enforcement of the law of the land - if caught for traffic violation one is given tickets and expected to pay or go to jail. Police are feared by criminals. Fines are levied so heavily that one would rather prevent than commit an offense and pay them.

5. Embracing all nations of the world

America is truly a land of freedom and equal opportunities. People from all parts of the world have made a success of their life and settled in USA making it their home. Respect for hard work, merit, entrepreneurship - all these qualities are recognized and rewarded. So a non American can get work, earn, own property, even citizenship. This kind of a broad mixture of various kinds of population makes America a true great leader - unafraid to be kind, caring to non-Americans for mutual benefit. I do not think any other nation can boast of such a fantastic home ground for people of all nationalities. I cannot imagine a Chinese or an Afghan or a Thai or a Japanese or a Mexican or a Philippa or a Iranian or a Pakistani or a French or a Brit or an Australian to be my neighbor or running a business in India but in America it is a reality.

American universities house meritorious students from the rest of the world offering an educational standard hard to find elsewhere in the world. Eventually most of these creme brains of the world make America their home and invest their brains in their careers in America.

Stanford University

The economy of the world is plugged to the American economy. Why? America sells what the rest of the world makes lke goods from China, India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Italy, France - it is truly amazing. In turn the rest of the world buys technology from America - most of the software the world uses comes from American Companies. That is why the world watches the American economy very closely.

These are some of the most "World-uses and enjoys products" from America

I cannot imagine life without the most loved Google and Wikipedia and Windows and Hollywood movies.

After thoughts:

Well so many reasons - I as a visitor to this country perceive the greatness of a world leadership nurtured over years to make life more comfortable. In admiring all these qualities, I want my country to be as great in making life of every Indian as caring and as comfortable.

But America has its grave problems too which we in India do not face. The very culture of independence and freedom has social repercussions - like loneliness, loose relationships and so many complicated psychological issues. Like so many divorced men and women struggle with children and job and more partners in their life, aged men and women live alone, many unmarried men and women do horrible things to kill loneliness, teenagers living in such a permissive society struggle to find deeper meaning in relationships, hire-and fire work culture stresses out the mediocre , maintaining a high standard of living has lead to a very materialistic culture and horrible debt traps.

I walk in beautiful long pathways and green grass and flower beds and pretty walkways inside our housing complex but often do not meet a single soul. It is a lonely journey here. It is silent. No one talks normally to anyone. It is "Hi how are you??" and "Take care. Have a good day" , and "you too" - beginning and end. No one knows or cares who lives next door.

Because of so many divorces and remarriages children discuss step mothers and step fathers and step brothers and step sisters and grand step parents !! The trauma and insecurity of a child after facing a divorce(s) of parents is not common in my country but here it is the culture - children are used to dating parents.

I feel we in India lead a much happier and interesting social life and we as a society co-exist more happily together due to our ingrained qualities of tolerance, contentment, mutual love and respect for everyone and stable relationships. The shopkeepers in our area know me and my family so well, when I walk on the road I meet so many smiling and friendly faces with genuine concerns - there is an air of friendly generosity around - Indians give themselves to other human beings - collective human spirit.

This is what makes India so great and every Indian living anywhere in the world yearns to come back to his country to live forever with his people in spite of all that noise and crowd and visible poverty and nosy aunts, uncles, neighbors, corrupt politicians to deal with .

Yes India has that greatness - living in India adds that interesting spice and color to my life - like PEPPER and RAINBOW .

Yosemite National Park

2009-04-21T06:09:00.000-07:00

Entrance to Yosemite has a natural rock arch

Saturday Apr 18th - visit to Yosemite National Park CA

Link to more photos is here

Not Yosamight!!
I had a major problem with spelling this - u have to pronounce it yo-se-me-tee but spell it like this - so I either pronounce it yo-sa-mi-te (like might) or spell it yusomiti both of which irritated vivek and he constantly kept correcting me.

Yosemite National park:
In USA national parks have been created to preserve and improve natural wealth. Yosemite is one of the best. In India we have not yet created this concept of national park though we do have vast natural resources that are conserved and preserved by the govt.

Well it is the greatest place on earth to experience ( ofcourse out of the handful of places I have visited in my life). The time we went was also ideal as the snow was just melting, it was a hot sunny spring day. It had everything - snow meadows, towering challenging snow covered mountain peaks , several cascading water falls , thousands of very very tall old trees, a U shaped valley amidst mountains, a pretty river flowing right thro'. It was nature at its best.

Sun, snow, water, rocks
It was the first really bright sunny hot day of the season. Earlier if u had come u would have experienced snow but not the water fall, later if we had gone we would have experienced may be the water fall but not the snow, and much later in summer no water falls, no snow but more greenery

Well we were lucky that we happened to visit on this ideal week-end.

Vivek and myself set off on Saturday morning around 8:30. He had rented a car as he was not sure if his old old Camery would stand by him faithfully the hilly drive. So we drove in a brand new (almost..) Pontiac .

Brand new Pontiac

We drove straight to Yosemite non stop for about 3 hours or so . On the way we stopped by for gas and vivek told me there would not be much food available . I had already carried some bread and cheese spread and some apples. Now I bought one bread and some chips ( cheese and potato) and one small cold drink bottle from the gas station and we drove off.

Scenic Route

Winding hilly roads and dense jungle
The roads became more and more hilly and winding and twisting amidst dense jungle with tall trees and more trees. Constantly you have to turn left or right uphill on a steep winding road with so many blind turns.

Driving thro' winding uphill roads amidst tall trees

Snow covered Peaks:
As we drove thro Yosemite Vivek was too excited to see and point out to me the snow capped peaks. Some part of Yosemite are at such high altitude that there is lot of snow.

Snow covered Peaks and water falls

Snow meadows at Crane Flat:
The first scenic place we drove thro' was Crane Flat which had very very tall trees ( sequoia..) covered with snow at their roots lo, snow covered meadows that stretched so far . It felt so exciting to see the snow - so so white .

Meadows of Crane Flat

I declared to Vivek "This is the best place in Yosemite" . He said "Wait till u see other places". He kept warning me "Be careful - look out for wet ice they are very slippery.. "

We drove thro' tunnels, and rows and rows of very very tall trees. We came upon vantage points where we got down to see the view of the towering mountains and cascading water falls. The river Marced flows right thro' Yosemite . In some places it is fierce tumbling thro' huge rocks and full of dangerous rapids, some places it is like a lake - so calm like a sheet of clear glass. The sound of water is an accompaniment right thro' the park.

World Famous Granite rocks
Yosemite is world famous for its granite rocky mountains and some of its peaks like El Capitan, Half Dome have been scaled by brave men and women. The faces of these mountains look so highly slippery and absolutely vertical that I kept wondering how could one climb here. We were constantly on the lookout for climbers. In the night on our drive back we could spot some.

Silent Water Falls
As you drive thro Yosemite you can see many waterfalls cascading silently from great heights amidst the rocks. But if you go near the entire scenery changes. You witness nature's force and fury firsthand.

Silent cascading water falls at a distance from a Vantage point

Bridalveil waterfall
We saw some huge water falls that came cascading down such great heights and with such force that when the water hit the rocks it rose like huge cloud. The ice cold splash of the water hits you from a great distance. The noise is defeaning. The fury of the rushing water then flows in terrific rapids swirling and hitting rocks to pieces and uprooting huge trees enroute.

We saw the Bridalveil fall up and close. Here the trail leading to the fall is a short one and easy to go. The water cascades down from such great height and with such force that the cloud of water rises up and looks like a bridal veil .

Bridalveil Waterfall

There is so much of water spray that everyone gets totally drenched and delighted with that. But it was awfully chilly too. Why does falling water make us all so happy? All were giggling and laughing happily.

But at the same time this place is dangerous due to the tremendous force of the falling water and the slippery rocks that warning signs were put up. No one dared to go closer to try to life the bridal veil!! There were railings to hold on to.

Picnic by the beach
We sat in a scenic picnic spot by the beach ( lot of fine sand..) of the Marced river where the water is absolutely calm and there were huge trees with seating tables and benches and barbecue stands. It is dangerous to carry food within the park as bears are known to attack people for food. These picnic spots have been specially created for eating. We spread our food ( bread with cream cheese spread.. ) ate and I slept on the ground for a while.

We then drove off to another picnic spot. There is a hanging bridge on the river and a water fall is visible at a distance. The water of the river is so crystal clear here that the rocks at the bottom of the river bed is visible. Lot of visitors were there - families with small children, old couples.

The kid in the sand island in Marced river

The kid actually cycled across the river to this sand island and posed for a photograph as his family watched. That speaks for American upbringing of kids with trust and the spirit of fearless adventure they inculcate in kids.

Free Bus rides within the park
There are many free bus rides available to many points. One can park the car at one place and go in the bus to some walking trail and come back to the same spot later. This is ideal as it reduces the movement of cars also. Where ever we went the parking lots were generally full. There were lot of people cycling . Cycles could also be hired at some places. I saw young and old Americans , families riding bikes.

Free Bus Rides

We watched the fiery rapids of the Marced river at one place where a small bridge has been constructed . I was too exhausted by then. So Vivek and I rested on a huge rock by the river for sometime

Resting on a rock by the river

and it was absolutely heavenly - in the lap of nature - surrounded by huge trees, rocky mountains, silent water falls at great distance, sound and fury of the gushing river water, the hot bright sun and the chill in the air . Yosemite is pure heaven for nature lovers. Gods live here.

Walking Trail to the base of the Yosemite Water Fall
After this good rest we took the bus to go on a walking trail to Yosemite water falls. You have to walk a lot. ( 3 to 4 Miles?? may be more) We saw ice, water, rocks, lots and lots of tall trees, some uprooted too. I even stood inside a giant sequoia tree and got photographed by Vivek

Standing inside a giant Sequoia Tree

When we were almost too tired to walk further, We came upon the Yosemite water falls. The site of the magnificent water falls and the cloud of water spray it caused drove away all my exhaustion. The chilly spray with the fierce wind blowing on our face simply lifted our spirits. We were laughing like kids just enjoying this force of nature. There is a small bridge over the fierce rapids caused by the water fall. There were many uprooted trees, huge rocks rounded or broken. One can see the fury of natural forces at work. No words can describe the beauty of this place. The sound of the water fall is deafening.

At the Base of Yosemite Water Fall
Wet Drenched Cold and Happy

I just did not feel like leaving this place. But we had walked a lot and we had to walk back equal distance. On top of that we had to also take the bus. So leaving my heart and soul to Yosemite fall, I walked with vivek back.

Ahwahnee Hotel
We then went to Ahwahnee Hotel which is a luxury 6 storied hotel considered a historic structure inaugurated in 1927. We ate some lovely frozen vegetables with some thing like chapati, I just loved that.

Historic Ahwahnee Hotel

vivek also took me to another hotel and some shopping area where I picked up just one sticker magnet as a sovenior. One does not need sovenior when memories are such treasures.

End of the day
We drove thro' the mountain peaks Half dome and El Capitan which shone in the setting sun. We parked our car to check out climbers . We could spot one or two. Happy with that we left for Mariposa which is about 45 min. drive for our night halt.

Half dome in sunset

We used the GPS for this drive. This route is very treacherous with steep downhill winding curves. I kept looking at the GPS and telling vivek left, right repeatedly for turns ahead. It was pitch dark. The turns were not merely turns they always were winding up/down . Quite a scary drive this. At one place near a bridge we were made to wait to clear the traffic from the opposite direction. The sign board said " Can take upto 15 min" I was wondering "Is there a railway track here? " I was thinking of the railway level crossing in India. But even there 15min. is a long time. But we did not wait that long anyway.

We reached Mariposa by 10 p.m. and checked into a very comfortable Mariposa lodge and went to sleep like logs . My head was full of peaks, granite vertical faces of the mountains, deafening sound of water.

Mariposa Lodge

Sunday April 19th 2009
Sunday dawned even more bright and sunny than saturday and we left Mariposa by 9 a.m. I was very eager to see the route as the night we had not seen at all where we were driving.

Most scenic Drive from Mariposa to Yosemite
I was in for such a delightful surprise. Mariposa to Yosemite drive is one of the most ( for me the most) scenic drives. The Marced river river flows right thro on one side and there are green hills on the other. The river was so beautiful in the bright sunny morning. At some places there were very dangerous rapids where the river flows with terrible force over rocks . Now we were climbing up to Yosemite.

Marced river flows along the entire route from Mariposa to Yosemite

We stopped at a very pictureque hotel called Cedar Lodge where we had a sumptuous breakfast of pancakes with Maple syrup ( vivek) and bagel with cream cheese and some fried potato dish with loads of sauce (myself) . We filled our selves for the day .

Landslide
I was eager to see the bridge that we had stopped by last night. Now during day time it became clear to us that there had been a landslide , the road was actually cut off, this bridge is a temporay one that joined the two ends of the road on either side of the landslide. Imagine being able to get such a bridge up and functional and handling such huge vehicular traffic. Americans are really great at crisis management. Being temporary it could not take the 2 way traffic and hence the wait. I admired all this efficiency and saw the landslide

Hotter day means more snow melts and causes more dangerous rapids in the river. Sunday was warmer than Saturday which meant more ice had melted and the water falls and the river both were in more furiuos form than saturday.

Vernal Fall Trail
We wanted to do one walking trail first as we were both feeling fresh and well fed. Vivek gave me a choice - "vernal fall or lake of mist?? " I chose vernal fall . So we both took the bus to the head of the trail and started off. With my little experience of the previous day I carried sweater, shawl, scarf, rain wear, some food and water. But now when I think of what a foolish thing it was to carry food , my heart freezes. The bears can attack u for the smell of food and the places we were going to walk was absolutely vergin forest. Anyway the fact that I am writing all this is proof that nothing happened to us.

Part I walk to the bridge at the base of Vernal fall
Well this trail has 2 parts - around 1.5 to 2 miles to a small bridge and then another 1.5 miles to the top of Vernal fall. It is Venral fall which is the source of the Marced river. We set off on this trail- it was like climbing Himalayas for me - steep uphill. There were huge rock boulders on one side, the Marced river rapids deep deep down scaring u on the other side. The entire area is surrounded by granite rocky mountains which were smooth and shining in the sun. The faces of these rocks were absolutely vertical. The scene is pictureque and scary.

I saw many families with small kids had also ventured on this trek as also many elderly people (American I presumed) . We walked for about an hour and half to reach the first base point. Here the magnificent Vernal fall is visible - looks like a rectangular solid block of water silently falling at a distance. The deafening sound is that of the water of the river hitting the rocks and causing swirling rapids.

We lingered on the bridge and the surrounding woods. Should we go up the next trek to the top of the Vernal falls - that was another 1.5 to 2 km up - The path here was more narrow, more dangerous, more steep. But I wanted to do it. Vivek tried to stop me as my knee was in no healthy condition. I was already suffereing from a painful knee problem(Arthritis?? )

Trek to Vernal Fall Part II
But it was too tempting not to try. So we both set off again on this more difficult trek. Slowly I realised every step was an effort. Poor Vivek - he held my hand so tightly for fear of my falling - he often said "If u fall u will pull me also with u" The path was very narrow with the furious river forcing its way deep down in the vally. The sound of the water fall slowly turned deafening.

Vernal Fall Trek - steep uphill

The trek was now like steps of rocks just big enough to hold one or two persons. At some places it was wet and slippery. Vivek kept on saying "Come let us go back " Actually without me poor fellow would have enjoyed the trek - he could climb so easily . It is my problem knee that was the cause of concern for him. He was worried that I will slip and fall anytime.

Climbing up Rocky steps

When we were almost there like another 20 to 30 steps would have taken us to the top, I could walk no more and we decided to return. The Vernal water fall here is so huge and come down with such noise and force that i felt a fear in my heart. I could not even look up at the water. Vivek said there is a rainbow look - but I was so scared. The huge size and massive height of the fall , the depth of the valley , the devish force of the water hitting the rocks down, the deafening noise, the force of the spray of ice cold water.. .

Almost there - Vernal Fall

It is an experience of lifetime. In retrospect I repent not having gone right up to the top atleast for Vivek's sake. Given my knee condition, Would I be able to ever try again?

Actually after Vernal fall the trek continues more uphill to Nevada fall and further to some more points. People do make it and enjoy. You have to be adventurous and fit to try out these treks which can take upto 7 days.

Coming down vernal fall trek - more difficult than going up
Regretting my knee issue , we started to come down. I was absolutely horrified that coming down was the more difficult part not going up. Every step for me became a tremendous effort. My left knee started hurting so much that I had to hop and struggle. Poor vivek - he has loads of patience and was so helpful though constantly telling me "That was a wrong decision ma" .

Cushioned Earth
Anyway with some divine rest on the way ( did u know that sleeping on the bare ground in a jungle can be really comfortable - the ground felt like a nice cool cushioned mattress soft and plush - layers and layers of fallen and softened leaves and the wet earth and the soft soil do that-the towering trees above with the twittering of birds, the fresh green leaves above , a nice fresh herbal fragrance - all made an unforgettable bedroom.

I somehow managed to reach the road. It was almost 4 O'clock by now and we wanted to leave Yosemite by 5:30. We drove around a bit and I told Viek "Let us see Bridalveil fall once again.. " So we drove there. I could hardly walk. This was our second vist to Bridalveil fall .

My Daffodils - Rainbows across Bridalveil Fall in the glittering sun
Covering myself in a waterproof jacket we went to see this magnificent fall. Today the water was even more forceful ( as it was a very hot day and lot of snow was melting... ) , there were even bigger clouds of the water spray ( veil ) , there was bright sun, there were two absolutely magnificent huge rainbows stretching right across the land and the water fall -I tell u the beauty we experienced cannot be described in words - I will always cherish this feeling of pure joy in our hearts. I was reminded of Wordsworth's daffodils - Bridalveil fall rainbow will be my daffodil .

Our camera battery had got used up and we could not capture this in many photos

5:30 we left Yosemite bidding "Good buy " to those jetting granite peaks of Half dome, El Capitan - their polished granite faces glittering in the sun, the waterfalls that cascade serene and silent at a distance, the tall tall pine, oak and sequoia trees that seem to say "Come again" .

My heart was so full - I felt a sense of gratitude to my son Vivek who so cheerfully takes me to see places, to the great Americans who preserve and cherish nature and make these visits so comfortable and interesting for its people and most of all to mother nature who gifts us so much of beauty.

Standing at Yosemite Waterfall

Unforgettable drive to Pebble beach at Carmel CA

2009-04-13T16:49:00.001-07:00

Saturday Apr 11 2009

Photos are here

Vivek said "Come let us drive to Carmel" . Carmel is a pretty beach town community about an hour and a half drive from Fremont. It was a bright sunny day . We set off in his car by 10:30 am.

Driving thro' scenic Santa Cruz mountains

We drove through a very scenic route thro' the Santa Cruz mountains (ghats) amidst dense jungle. The entire route is lined with trees and the spring season was so evident with lush colorful flowers blooming everywhere. I was repeatedly telling vivek excitedly "hey look at the flowers". Poor fellow he must have wondered "what is that??" being so impervious to all that flowery scenery and ofcourse focussing on his driving. The weather promised to be great bright and sunny.

Soon we hit the Pacific Coast road which runs along the Pacific Ocean and is also very scenic. The blue crystalline ocean is visible on this drive. Here vivek was very excited and kept pointing to me the ocean whenever it came into view. He loves the ocean I guess. We were heading towards a town called Monterey.

The ocean is visible at a distance

Monterey
We touched Monterey at 12:30 and we were both very hungrey. We parked the car at a very pretty looking hotel (inn??) . It had huge pots over flowing with flowers (real not artificial) , benches, water fountain , a large sit out facing the ocean.

Huge flower pots

Pretty Coffee bar by the sea

Pots over flowing with flowers

But we were in for a disappointment. It was a coffee bar only. So we walked on the road along the ocean looking for a place to eat something.

Monterey is such a beautiful town and on this particular sunny day was decked up in flowers flowers everywhere that one can spend days just walking here. The ocean appeared pure blue and Vivek said it is so deep here that whales and dolphins have been spotted. There is a boat ride to do just that but we did not take that for want of time.

We saw groups of very young and not so young people preparing for scuba diving. Though it was sunny and bright it was also very cold and windy. This chilly wind is a characteristic feature along the pacific coast.

We located a small pizza joint called "Pelican Pizza" having just 2 small tables and 8 chairs. We ordered Pizza and sat in this small quaint Pizza joint. When the Pizza arrived in a large aluminium plate it was hot ( back home we would consider it very poor to eat in this type of aluminium thali) , huge ( half of a 12" diameter circle pizza) cut into 4 slices, covered with nice green veggies, jalapinoes( spicy green chiily - I just love that). Vivek enjoyed the Pizza so much that he kept on saying " THIS is the tastiest pizza I have ever eaten" - Note the emphasis on THIS here. He must know with his vast experience of living on Pizzas in his early student days at UIUC. I have never been a Pizza person but I really enjoyed this one. The whole thing costs as little as 7$ for both of us. We were so full and happy. We thanked the owner .

American salesmanship
In America I observed that most of the eateries are owned and run by one person with may be one or two more help. They are very warm and nice to guests at their hotels. This kind of salesmanship is very obvious wherever we go. We will never come across a grumpy sales person. I think they may be trained for that. We Indians need to master this attitude. Ofcourse I have experienced the same warmth in all the marwadi ( hailing for the state of Rajathan ) owned shops in Nidgi.

We then went to "Baskin Robins" a chain store selling ice-creams. They really have so many varieties.I selected a small size Pista icecream with roasted almonds and Vivek picked up 2 large scoops of "Strawberry cheese cake" icecream for himself. Eating our icecreams we leisurely strolled on the pathway on the road along the beach. At many places you could go down to the beach but I dreaded the ice cold water. It was spring time and the beauty of colorful flowers on the road was so thrilling. I was so engrossed with all this that I missed my balance and came crashing on the road with my icecream.

Monterey has a very huge and world famous aquarium of marine animals but we did not go there as Vivek said there is so much to see and so little time.

We got into the car and drove to Pebble beach.

17 Mile Drive
We did the popular 17 mile Drive 17-Mile Drive at Pebble Beach.
Most of this place is privately owned by a company called Pebble Beach Company ( 1,600 employees) which owns The Lodge at Pebble Beach, The Inn at Spanish Bay, Casa Palmero, The Spa at Pebble Beach, Pebble Beach Golf Links, The Links at Spanish Bay, Spyglass Hill Golf Course and Del Monte Golf Course. These resorts and golf courses are world famous.

There is an entry fee. ( I think it was 10$) In this circular route, there are 4 famous golf courses by the sea, many vantage points for scenic views of the Pacific ocean and the drive itself is very beautiful amidst dense woods with houses here and there. Vivek said if u own a house here, it proves u have arrived in life.

The golf courses were vast green expanses on hilly terrains in some places.

Golf course by the sea - Sprinklers at work here

Golf courses on hilly terrain along the Pacific Ocean

The ocean is visible thro out and there are many beaches on the way. At one place the ocean is called Restless Sea as the waves here clash in different directions with great force and the sea appears restless. It is a dangerous spot.

The spring season was very evident with flowers covering the whole landscape and painting it in such pretty stunning shades of bright colors.

Spring in air

Once we completed the circular 17 Mile drive we headed to Pebble beach. The sand is pure white fine powder. It is difficult to walk on the beach sand as it is hilly and your feet sink deep with every step. It was difficult to go down to the beach and even more difficult to climb back for me with my knee pain. The Pacific coast is always chilly.

Pebble beach

Carmel-by-the-sea
We drove around the town of Carmel which is a beach community . Vivek explained that it is a rich man's abode. Many celebrities own property here and it is extremely expensive in the range of 100 million $ upwards.

Driving thro' the town of carmel

We saw a yellow Ferrari parked on the roadside and vivek was so excited to see that.
It is his dream to buy one I think.

Ferrari Close-up

After a fulfilling day of being so much at peace with nature, the sea , woods, hills and the flowers of the spring we drove back home once again along the scenic route via Santa Cruz mountains.